IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on children. Do you agree or disagree?”

#computer #effects #children
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Computer usage has increased in recent years among
children
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. Some people opine that using
computers
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are
Change the verb form
is
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 good for
future
Correct article usage
the future
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 of
children
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however
Linking Words
 others consider that it may affect them negatively. In
this
Linking Words
essay
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,essay
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 we will discuss the merits as well as demerits of computer usage among
younger
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the younger
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 generation and I believe that it is necessary for kids to learn
computers
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 but
overusage
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overuse
over usage
 is harmful
for
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to
show examples
 their brains.
Computers
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has
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have
show examples
 changed the world in a better way and more so in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent times for
children
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. During the ongoing pandemic and lockdown lasting for more than a year schools and colleges have been shut and academics have taken a backseat. In these times educational institutions have started online classes for students to stay in touch with the subjects and
computers
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 have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
played a big role for kids to stay at home and learn.
Linking Words
Also
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,Also
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 the availability of internet services
have
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has
show examples
 helped
children
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 to improve their general knowledge and skills.
Linking Words
However
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,However
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 there has been
a
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an
show examples
 abuse of
this
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 technology
also
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. Most
of
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apply
show examples
Use synonyms
children
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the children
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 indulge in playing games, watching movies which
has
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have
show examples
 decreased
there
Correct your spelling
their
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 attention span.
Furthermore
Linking Words
 with everything accessible on
internet
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the internet
show examples
 they are falling prey to bad content like pornography and fake news. Increased screen time has led them to
decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
show examples
 in physical activity with
increase
Add an article
an increase
show examples
 in obesity and early onset of diseases in kids. In conclusion,
computers
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has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 been boon to
this
Linking Words
 generation and at the same time bane
also
Linking Words
. In my opinion parents and teachers have a big role to play in
this
Linking Words
 by educating and helping them.
Thus
Linking Words
 in my opinion learning
computers
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 are good if utilised well .
Submitted by shishduble on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Screen time
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Physical inactivity
  • Cognitive development
  • Internet addiction
  • Cyberbullying
  • Inappropriate content
  • Digital literacy
  • Virtual learning environments
  • Parental controls
  • Moderation
  • Online safety
  • Tech-savvy
  • E-learning
  • Information technology
  • Eye strain
  • Social skills
  • Multitasking
  • Interactive education
  • Health repercussions
What to do next:
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