IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that unpaid community services should be compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving tge neighbourhood, or teaching children) To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #services #part #school #programmes #charity #tge #neighbourhood #children
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Doing social
work
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 carries
highest
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the highest
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 regard in every society. In fact, I believe social
work
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 without wage should be
mandatory
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a mandatory
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part
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 of
high
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the high
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 school curriculum for two main reasons.
Firstly
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,
students
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 should be able to share
social
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the social
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burden
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burdens
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 as they are young and energetic. These
community
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 projects do offer a vital chance that
students
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 can avail
and
Correct pronoun usage
themselves and
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 actively take
part
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 in resolving
community
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 issues. Physically and mentally they have
capacity
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the capacity
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 to complete assigned
charity
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 tasks. Take some laborious
work
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for example
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.
Students
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 can
work
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 together for the cleanliness of their neighbourhood through scheduled patrolling and collecting garbage.
Although
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, I concede it can be a daunting and boring job
specially
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especially
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 without any financial reward.
However
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, I would argue that schools give numerous scholarships to their
students
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 and in
return
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,return
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 a few hours of unpaid
charity
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work
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 would not be a huge favour to ask for. In the
end
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,end
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 it is student's civil service skills evolving and their neighbourhoods getting clean.
Therefore
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, they must be encouraged to take
active
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an active
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part
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 in
charity
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 programmes offered by the schools.
Secondly
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, it evokes empathy, kindness, and
civic
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a civic
the civic
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 sense among
students
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. Ultimately these traits shape
personality
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the personality
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 of
students
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 that affect their future. It is
this
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 mandatory
charity
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work
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 that triggers responsibility in
students
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.Not only do they become aware of social issues around them
,
Add the word(s)
but,
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they
also
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 experience
closely
Correct article usage
a closely
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 knitted
community
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.
For example
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, when high schoolers are asked to spend quality time with senior citizens at old homes,
students
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 get a wonderful opportunity to have an insight
of
Change preposition
into
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 elderly life. Older people tend to suffer from loneliness and depression and
this
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 way young people can play sports or watch movies with senior citizens and give them a few moments of joy and happiness.
Moreover
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,
students
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 will know not everything one does is for the money. In fact, many times it is an essential act of
kindess
Correct your spelling
kindness
 expected by the society they live in. These social services can be a window to that kindness and empathy for young kids. In conclusion, not only do
community
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 services provide greater opportunity to share
social
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the social
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 burden
,
Add the word(s)
but,
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it
also
Linking Words
 evokes a strong sense of empathy and kindness among
younger
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the younger
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 generation, without seeking financial benefits.
Therefore
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, I agree unpaid
community
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 services must be
mandatory
Add an article
a mandatory
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part
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 of
high
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the high
show examples
 school curriculum.
Submitted by mahrukh_javed on

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