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Band 4.5

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children? Main Draft

#children #difference #right #age #punishment #distinction #sort #parents #teachers #behaviour #draft
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Distinguishing what is
right
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 and what is wrong is a very important skill for people. I believe that it is crucial for
children
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 to learn the
different
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difference
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 between
right
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 and wrong at an early age, and
punishment
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 is necessary for
rising
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raising
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this
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 skill.
Aslo
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Also
,
punishment
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 is a mirror of law or sentence in the world that useful for foster
children
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.
Children
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, as the future of the world, is ignorant and is easy to be led
astroy
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astray
. Their family and teachers have
responsibility
Add an article
a responsibility
the responsibility
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 to teach them what is
right
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 and what is wrong, and how to distinguish them.
For example
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, flighting or abusing is
a
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apply
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wrong behaviour, obey regulations and use regulations to protect themselves is
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right
Correct article usage
the right
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 movement.
Children
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 do not know
this
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 and after they born. If they don’t learn and understand
this
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distinciton
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distinction
 as early as possible, they will easy to break the law or do harm to our future.
However
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, most of the
children
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 are idle, lazy, or careless
to
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about
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 what they are learning.
Punishment
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, along with pain or
unhappy
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unhappiness
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, is
a
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an
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 effective way to attract their
attentions
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attention
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. They need to drive themselves to learn and remember what is
right
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 and wrong,
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otherwise
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,otherwise
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 they will be punished. If without
punishment
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,
children
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 hardly understand and respect the value of
this
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distincition
Correct your spelling
distinction
. In my opinion, the goal of punishments is to rise good behaviour. So, we can not use bad
behaviors
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behaviours
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 to
pusnish
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punish
children
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 like
violences
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violence
acts of violence
outbreaks of violence
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. We can use punishments like community services, housework services, or physical exercise punishments.
For example
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, punish
children
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 to clean the public garden, to clean their house, or to run 2000 meters if they do something wrong or have bad behaviour.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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