IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarket in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#development #expansion #supermarket #countries #business #people #closure #death #communities
Nowadays, Due to
advacements
Correct your spelling
advancements
advancement
 and rapid growth in
malls
 and
Correct your spelling
supermarkets
supermakets
Add a comma
,supermakets
show examples
 many local vendors and
businesses
 are
afftcted
Correct your spelling
affected
effected
 in many ways. It is believed by some
people
 that
closure
Correct article usage
the closure
show examples
 of small and local
businesses
 will be very detrimental for local
communities
. I totally agree with the notion because
supermarkets
 and modern
malls
 attract
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of
people
 and no one is willing to buy
products
 from local
shops
.
To begin
 with, there are several reasons why
people
 are
prefering
Correct your spelling
preferring
 more and more
supermarkets
 rather
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 buying
procuts
Correct your spelling
products
 from small vendors.
Firstly
, many big
malls
 and
supermarkets
offers
Change the verb form
offer
show examples
 huge discount on every
products
Change to a singular noun
product
show examples
 to gain customers.
This
 is because they are purchasing
products
 in a bulk.
Secondly
,
supermarkets
 provide all the necessary things
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a single roof.
For example
, in
malls
Add a comma
,malls
show examples
people
 can buy
grocerry
Correct your spelling
grocery
groceries
, vegetables, fruits,
Correct your spelling
clothes
show examples
cloths
Correct your spelling
clothes
show examples
 and so on.Another reason is that nowadays
people
 prefer to
shop
 without any
disturbunce
Correct your spelling
disturbance
disturbances
.
For instance
, before
purchesing
Correct your spelling
purchasing
Add a comma
,
show examples
they can check and try every
products
Change to a singular noun
product
show examples
 by themselves, which is sometimes very
difficlt
Correct your spelling
difficult
 in a small
shop
.Due to all these
reasons
Add a comma
,reasons
show examples
 small
shop
 owners are facing
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of customers in their
shops
. Many
peole
Correct your spelling
people
 think that
Correct your spelling
closure
clouser
Correct article usage
the clouser
show examples
 of local
businesses
 will
affects
Change the verb form
affect
show examples
 local
communities
. Many economically weaker
people
are still prefer
Change the verb form
still prefer
show examples
 to buy
products
 from local
shops
. Because sometimes local
shop
 owners give
products
 in credit.
Moreover
, some
people
also
 buy their daily necessary items from local
shops
 to save time
such
 as milk, vegetables and so on. And they only prefer
supermakets
Correct your spelling
supermarkets
 when they have to buy so many
products
. So if
peole
Correct your spelling
people
 will not buy
products
 from local
busniesses
Correct your spelling
businesses
business
then
after all
Add the comma(s)
, after all,
show examples
 it would be detrimental for local
communities
. In
conclution
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, I think
closure
Add an article
the closure
show examples
 of local
businesses
 will bring
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of difficulties to local
communities
.
Submitted by tithipatel1731 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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