In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
Recently, in many states, folks have been living longer than previously. Others state that an ageing population produces obstacles for governments. Some individuals believe there are advantages if society has more elderly citizens. The advantages of having an ageing population are the number of productive citizens increased and rapid economic enhancement, here are some of my outlines.
Firstly
, the sum of elderly folks contributes to the increase of productive workers, particularly someone in the range of 25 to 55. In that condition, many companies which have a large employee demand can selectively open vacancies to fill some positions. Linking Words
For instance
, there was a case in 2020 in which the vacancy demand was higher than the labour supply, which means the number of productive people was less than usual. Linking Words
Thus
, many companies become unproductive, the quality of products and services decreases, and Linking Words
finally
loss of profit.
Linking Words
Secondly
, the productive workers imply to country’s economic growth. Economic condition is one of the most crucial things that a country must have since the government makes an innovation in their education systems to enhance more qualified resources Linking Words
such
as intelligent humans in the future who can bring newly discovered knowledge for industry advancement. Linking Words
For example
, in 2023 Indonesian government announced a regulation to provide training for citizens, particularly for wife houses to make them productive again in their 30s to 40s.
In conclusion, providing productive workers and economic growth development are the advantages of the ageing population. Individuals must consider productivity not represented by age but by the spirit for a great future in their lives.Linking Words
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task response
To improve your task response, ensure that all parts of the prompt are addressed in a balanced manner. Discuss both advantages and disadvantages and provide a clear stance on whether the benefits outweigh the downsides.
coherence cohesion
Your essay could benefit from using more linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of ideas. This will help in achieving better coherence and cohesion.
task response
Provide more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your arguments. This will make your points more convincing.
introduction conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and concise, setting the stage and summarizing your main points effectively.
clear comprehensive ideas
The ideas in your essay are generally clear and well-expressed, showcasing a good grasp of the topic.
relevant specific examples
You have used relevant examples to support your main points, though more detail could be added for even better support.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...