In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

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Recently, in many states, folks have been living longer than previously. Others state that an ageing population produces obstacles for governments. Some individuals believe there are advantages if society has more elderly citizens. The advantages of having an ageing population are the number of productive citizens increased and rapid economic enhancement, here are some of my outlines.

Firstly

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, the sum of elderly folks contributes to the increase of productive workers, particularly someone in the range of 25 to 55. In that condition, many companies which have a large employee demand can selectively open vacancies to fill some positions.

For instance

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, there was a case in 2020 in which the vacancy demand was higher than the labour supply, which means the number of productive people was less than usual.

Thus

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, many companies become unproductive, the quality of products and services decreases, and

finally

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loss of profit.

Secondly

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, the productive workers imply to country’s economic growth. Economic condition is one of the most crucial things that a country must have since the government makes an innovation in their education systems to enhance more qualified resources

such

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as intelligent humans in the future who can bring newly discovered knowledge for industry advancement.

For example

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, in 2023 Indonesian government announced a regulation to provide training for citizens, particularly for wife houses to make them productive again in their 30s to 40s. In conclusion, providing productive workers and economic growth development are the advantages of the ageing population. Individuals must consider productivity not represented by age but by the spirit for a great future in their lives.

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task response

To improve your task response, ensure that all parts of the prompt are addressed in a balanced manner. Discuss both advantages and disadvantages and provide a clear stance on whether the benefits outweigh the downsides.

coherence cohesion

Your essay could benefit from using more linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of ideas. This will help in achieving better coherence and cohesion.

task response

Provide more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your arguments. This will make your points more convincing.

introduction conclusion

Your introduction and conclusion are clear and concise, setting the stage and summarizing your main points effectively.

clear comprehensive ideas

The ideas in your essay are generally clear and well-expressed, showcasing a good grasp of the topic.

relevant specific examples

You have used relevant examples to support your main points, though more detail could be added for even better support.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

262 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

ageing population
benefits
disadvantages
advantages
experience
knowledge
contribution
economy
society
healthcare
youth employment
community
intergenerational support
volunteerism
mentorship
increased demand
pension costs
social welfare systems
workforce
productivity
intergenerational conflict
technological adaptability
dependency
effective
skill development
employment opportunities
intergenerational solidarity
communication
lifelong learning
technological literacy
age-friendly
social policies
infrastructure

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems as well as practical problems. Do you agree or disagree with this idea?

Demand for food is increasing worldwide. what are Causes and Solutions for this problem?

Some people feel that social media encourages antisocial behaviour, such as bullying and cheating, while others disagree that this is the case. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that the teenagers should concentrate all subjects at school. Others believe that teenagers should focus on the subject they are best at or they are most interested in. To what extend do you agree?