Some people think that children of busy parents should be sent to daycare centres, while others believe that they should be cared for by their grandparents. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #children #parents #daycare #centres #grandparents

Modern technology has quickened the tempo of life ,

people

become busier than before, so more and more

people

do not have enough time to take

care

of their

children

Someone

Correct pronoun usage

Some

show examples

sends their

children

daycare

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

, while others leave their

children

with their parents. Personally, from the perspective of

children

daycare

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

are a better choice. It is undeniable that

people

ask their parents to take

care

of their

children

, which has several advantages.

Firstly

, it is obvious that leaving

children

with their

grandparents

is a very economical option. The primary reason is that

people

can save an expensive extra cost, if

people

send their

children

daycare

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

, they will need to pay for

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

, meals and other expenses to the

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

, so the long-term cost is very high.

Secondly

this

will make the

children

get more love and attention. Family affection is especially important to

children

and is different from ordinary

care

. Compared with

daycare

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

grandparents

can give

children

more and unique love and

care

Nevertheless

daycare

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

are good for the

growth

children

. The

first

and foremost factor is that

daycare

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

provide

children

with a scientific and healthy

growth

environment. To be specific,

daycare

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

have professionals to take

care

of the

children

, and they have comprehensive facilities for

children

to learn or play. If

grandparents

take

care

of the

children

, they may over-spoil them, which will not be conducive to the healthy

growth

children

In addition

daycare

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

can improve

children

's social skills. Because

children

can get along with others in

daycare

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

, which improves their interpersonal and communication skills. In conclusion, asking

help

Change preposition

for help

show examples

from

grandparents

might be a way out, but the problem is that some

aging

Change the spelling

ageing

show examples

grandparents

are not strong enough to take

care

of the kids, and the kids may

also

become too spoiled by

grandparents

. In my opinion,

although

people

leave

children

to their parents to take

care

of can save them a fortune, the

daycare

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

Correct your spelling

may be

show examples

maybe

Correct your spelling

may be

show examples

more conducive to the healthy

growth

children

Submitted by jyo87 on Thu Jul 08 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

339 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that children of busy parents should be sent to daycare centres, while others believe that they should be cared for by their grandparents. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The advantages provided by English as a global language will continue to outweigh the disadvantages. To what extent do you agree with this statement

Today much of the food people eat get imported from farms that are thousands of miles away. Would the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Technology has brought so many changes that modern lifestyle are completely different from the way people lived in the past. Do you think the positive effects of technology outweigh its disadvantages?