IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace (e.g. at home, when travelling, etc.). Do the benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages? #244

The widespread availability of information technology has made it possible for many individuals to perform their
work
Use synonyms
 from virtually anywhere, whether at home, at cafes, or
while
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 travelling.
This
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 increased mobility offers numerous benefits.
However
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, it
also
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 presents certain drawbacks. In my opinion, the advantages of
this
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 modern
work
Use synonyms
 arrangement far outweigh its disadvantages, provided it is managed effectively. One major advantage of mobile working is greater flexibility and efficiency. Employees can manage their own schedules and complete tasks without being tied to a fixed location, which can lead to improved productivity and job satisfaction.
For instance
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, remote access to
work
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 platforms allows professionals to respond to urgent matters
while
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 travelling or attending personal commitments.
Furthermore
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, companies can reduce operational costs on office space and utilities by allowing staff to
work
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 remotely, which is especially beneficial for startups and small businesses.
On the other hand
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, working outside the traditional office can blur the line between personal and professional life. Without clear boundaries, individuals may feel pressured to be constantly available, leading to stress and burnout.
In addition
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, some jobs often require collaboration, which can be hindered by remote communication. To exemplify, brainstorming sessions or team-based projects may suffer from a lack of face-to-face interaction or immediate feedback, potentially reduce the quality of outcomes. In conclusion,
although
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 working outside the office environment can cause certain challenges,
such
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 as blurred
work
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-life balance and reduced team cohesion, the advantages in terms of flexibility, cost savings, and convenience make it a valuable development. With the right support systems and boundaries in place, the benefits of
this
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 mobility clearly outweigh its drawbacks.

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task achievement
Make sure to focus on clear examples for each point you make.
coherence cohesion
Try to maintain a smooth flow between your ideas and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that present the main idea well.
task achievement
You have identified both benefits and drawbacks of mobile working clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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