IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that schools are no longer necessary because people can acquire information by internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #schools #information #internet
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A prevailing opinion is that educational institutions become unnecessary in that people gain access to
information
Use synonyms
 they need
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 statement, as I see it, is more than unjustified. Others, holding the view that individuals are capable to acquire useful knowledge and to realize learners’ autonomy, believe that
netizen
Fix the agreement mistake
netizens
show examples
 can enter a variety of websites
such
Linking Words
 as Baidu, Google to collect and pick out
information
Use synonyms
 or relevant learning materials, thereby contributing to deal with their questions or confuses, which is not only convenient but
also
Linking Words
 around zero cost. With the development of network infrastructure, distance education creates an online learning opportunity for learners, who can study subjects through buying online courses, enabling them to learn at home without having to go to school.
However
Linking Words
, undoubtedly, the meanings of
schools
Use synonyms
’ existence
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 far beyond a systematic learning course but a cultivating
Correct your spelling
process
show examples
proces s
Correct your spelling
process
show examples
 because the essence of
schools
Use synonyms
 is to create a comfortable and peaceful atmosphere where
students
Use synonyms
 are protected from some bad
thing s
Correct your spelling
things
show examples
 like violence or crime , to help
students
Use synonyms
 be physically and mentally healthy especially teenagers by shaping their sound
perso nality
Correct your spelling
personality
show examples
 and developing their maturity. Compared with the
internet
Use synonyms
 aiming at people of all ages, the subjects of
schools
Use synonyms
 is those immature children or teenagers who
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 vulnerable to the adverse effects of the outside world. those children or teenagers who are not mentally mature enough to discern right and wrong should receive education in
schools
Use synonyms
, for they are vulnerable to the adverse effects of the outside world, especially from the
internet
Use synonyms
. The main cause that the
schools
Use synonyms
 cannot be replaced is that they supported by governments
Fix the infinitive
to instill
show examples
instill
Change the spelling
instil
show examples
 the correct values into
students
Use synonyms
, and
on the contrary
Linking Words
, the
Internet
Use synonyms
 is full of mixed
information
Use synonyms
 that needs people to distinguish
true
Change preposition
between true
show examples
 and false. Apart from the subject knowledge and
skill sets
Correct your spelling
skillsets
show examples
,
schools
Use synonyms
 can not be replaced
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 that they bear
responsibility
Correct article usage
the responsibility
show examples
 to
instill
Change the spelling
instil
show examples
 the correct moral values into
students
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, even though there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 large amounts of
information
Use synonyms
 available
in
Change the preposition
on
show examples
 the
internet
Use synonyms
, the school still play an irreplaceable role in schooling and instruction in terms of academic knowledge and morality.
Submitted by jyo87 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: