IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

n some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#n #countries #people #health #food #governments #tax
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Food
 choices are been changing dramatically these days.
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
show examples
 of
people
 in few countries are consuming more
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
junk
food
 which is
consequently
 leading to health issues.
Hence
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should be imposing heavy taxes on unhealthy
food
 items. I completely agree with
this
 idea and will be elaborating my view on
this
further
 in
this
 essay in an exemplary manner.
To begin
 with, many companies selling fast
food
 are quite cheap which are easy to purchase and have healthy options expensive on their menu which
compell
Correct your spelling
compel
compels
compelled
people
 to buy the more affordable ones.
For instance
, many
people
 just buy a hamburger from Mc
donalds
Change the capitalization
Donalds
Donald's
show examples
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
cheaper
Correct article usage
a cheaper
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 price as compared to vegetable salad and a glass of fresh orange juice.
Moreover
,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of
people
 in western countries just
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
grab a hamburger or other fried stuff from their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
fast
Add a hyphen
fast-food
show examples
food
 restaurant while on the way to their workplace.
In other words
, junk
food
 seems to them a more convenient and affordable option.
In addition
 to
this
, there are myriad nations where fresh
foood
Correct your spelling
food
 is much
more
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apply
show examples
costlier than the frozen foods.
Organic
Correct article usage
The organic
show examples
food
 section in supermarkets is separate and pricey as compared to, the frozen junk
food
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
show examples
 example, fries, nuggets, burgers, etc., are kept in attractive discount offers.
This
 strategy of hypermarkets is one of the leading
reasson
Correct your spelling
reason
reasons
 attributed to
people
's ill health. The government must enforce strict laws against selling harmful edible products
such
 as fizzy drinks, branded fast foods. To conclude, every individual has their own eating habits and are free to choose between different
food
 options available.
However
, some
people
 lack knowledge about the
food
 they eat so it is the duty of
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 to exercise awareness campaigns and do their best as much as possible to take care of the health of their nationals.
Submitted by Leena Kapoor on

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