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Band 7.5

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmers (for example working for the charity, teaching sports to younger children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It has been suggested that unpaid
community
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 services should be a compulsory part of the educational system. While some people state that it can provide students opportunities to gain
work
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 experience, others do not agree with
this
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 proposal. Personally, I am convinced that voluntary
work
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 should be a part of high school programmes.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, voluntary
work
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 adds to their
work
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 experience and gives them an opportunity to put to
work
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 the skills they have learned at schools and colleges. Students not only learn how to communicate with others and
work
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 as a team but
also
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 how to manage time and improve their organizational skills.
Moreover
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, by joining compulsory
work
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 activities with charitable or
community
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 organizations, they will be encouraged to be more creative in problem-solving when confronting difficult circumstances. Useful skills and experience gained through compulsory
work
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 will not only be an asset on their CV but
also
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 increase their future employability.
In addition
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, these programmes instil moral and ethical values in the children's minds which is degenerating today’s generation enormously.
As a result
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, the crime rate in the high school age group could possibly be reduced. The supporters of
this
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 scheme
also
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 express that by helping the poor and disadvantaged, society will become a more ideal and worth-living place.
In other words
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,
such
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 programmes prove to be beneficial to individuals
in particular
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 and the
community
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 in general. To sum up, despite some apparent drawbacks
such
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 as negligence in the learning process or unsafety, unpaid
community
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 services should be promoted in the early stages of education for the aforementioned reasons above.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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