Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #aim #university #education #graduates #jobs #individuals #society

Many

people

have argued about the

assitance

Correct your spelling

assistance

of higher

education

. A group of

people

believe that gaining a degree

Change preposition

from

show examples

university

Add an article

the university

show examples

will have a preferable job while others think that studying in

university

brings more advantages for

graduates

and

community

Correct article usage

the community

show examples

. The following paragraphs will explain in

details

Fix the agreement mistake

detail

show examples

aboth

Correct your spelling

about

both

opions

Correct your spelling

options

opinions

, but I do believe that

university

education

contributes to the development of both

individual

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals

show examples

and society. On the

one

hand, it is fact that

one

of the preferable benefits is to obtain

Remove the article

apply

show examples

qualified employment.

Graduates

who are holding a degree have many advantages in the job market and are more flexible to transfer to higher

education

on their employment ladder.

Besides

, graduate’s salaries are more valuable than

non- graduate

Correct your spelling

non-graduate

show examples

one

For example

, the average income of

bachor

Correct your spelling

bachelor

Bachor

is up to ten million

Vietnamdong

Correct your spelling

Vietnam dong

Correct pronoun usage

which is

show examples

twice compared with

undergrates

Correct your spelling

undergraduates

. Since some sector requires a degree, it becomes a

manadatory

Correct your spelling

mandatory

request in order to

joining

Change the verb

join

show examples

these fields

such

as medicine, law, engineering,… .

Therefore

, a lot of

people

believe that the main purpose of

university

education

is to support

graduates

to exceed their occupation in

their

Change the word

the

show examples

future.

On the other hand

, another group of

people

believe that

university

education

makes a positive impact on society and

individual

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals

show examples

as well.

Firstly

, by spending

lifetime

Add an article

a lifetime

show examples

in the

university

students

could learn how to improve themselves

such

as cooking for

Correct your spelling

themselves

show examples

them selves

Correct your spelling

themselves

show examples

, managing life-costs. Since

students

have to

live

Correct your spelling

give

show examples

away

Add the preposition

fromaway

show examples

their

home

Fix the agreement mistake

homes

show examples

, they become more

independence

Replace the word

independent

show examples

, even creative and

finally

develop their skills. These

students

provided the information and knowledge would have a strong

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

force for

national

Add an article

the national

show examples

economy in order to invent

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

new things

such

as medicine for cancer,

new

Add an article

a new

show examples

appliance for better daily life.

Secondly

, thanks to

university

Add an article

the university

a university

show examples

environment,

students

have the chance to meet

people

from many different cultures; after that, they could have

enhance

Change the verb form

enhanced

show examples

their

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

show examples

As a result

, there is a cultural and commercial exchange which is

one

of the important elements in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

economic development. In conclusion, some

people

believe that higher

education

plays a vital role in

graduate’s

Correct article usage

a graduate’s

show examples

career. In my point of view, I agree that

university

education

not only support

graduates

to have a better job but

also

promotes the development of community and society.

Submitted by hotuanhitech on Sat Jul 10 2021

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

370 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society Discuss both views and give your opinion

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

More and more businesses, as well as individuals, are choosing to communicate either professionally or socially using technology rather than being face to face. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

most people decided to have children in their later age than in the past. why? do the advantages of this outweigh its disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples,e.g from your knowledge or experience

Some people think that there could be more benefits to society if more people study business than history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation. Such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. othwrs argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.