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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #aim #university #education #graduates #jobs #individuals #society
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Many
people
Use synonyms
 have argued about the
assitance
Correct your spelling
assistance
 of higher
education
Use synonyms
. A group of
people
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 believe that gaining a degree
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
Use synonyms
university
Add an article
the university
show examples
 will have a preferable job while others think that studying in
university
Use synonyms
 brings more advantages for
graduates
Use synonyms
 and
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
. The following paragraphs will explain in
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
aboth
Correct your spelling
about
both
 both
opions
Correct your spelling
options
opinions
, but I do believe that
university
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
 contributes to the development of both
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 and society. On the
one
Use synonyms
 hand, it is fact that
one
Use synonyms
 of the preferable benefits is to obtain
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
qualified employment.
Graduates
Use synonyms
 who are holding a degree have many advantages in the job market and are more flexible to transfer to higher
education
Use synonyms
 on their employment ladder.
Besides
Linking Words
, graduate’s salaries are more valuable than
non- graduate
Correct your spelling
non-graduate
show examples
one
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.
For example
Linking Words
, the average income of
bachor
Correct your spelling
bachelor
Bachor
 is up to ten million
Vietnamdong
Correct your spelling
Vietnam dong
,
is
Correct pronoun usage
which is
show examples
 twice compared with
undergrates
Correct your spelling
undergraduates
. Since some sector requires a degree, it becomes a
manadatory
Correct your spelling
mandatory
 request in order to
joining
Change the verb
join
show examples
 these fields
such
Linking Words
 as medicine, law, engineering,… .
Therefore
Linking Words
, a lot of
people
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 believe that the main purpose of
university
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
 is to support
graduates
Use synonyms
 to exceed their occupation in
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 future.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, another group of
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
university
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
 makes a positive impact on society and
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 as well.
Firstly
Linking Words
, by spending
lifetime
Add an article
a lifetime
show examples
 in the
university
Use synonyms
,
students
Use synonyms
 could learn how to improve themselves
such
Linking Words
 as cooking for
Correct your spelling
themselves
show examples
them selves
Correct your spelling
themselves
show examples
, managing life-costs. Since
students
Use synonyms
 have to
live
Correct your spelling
give
show examples
away
Add the preposition
fromaway
show examples
 their
home
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homes
show examples
, they become more
independence
Replace the word
independent
show examples
, even creative and
finally
Linking Words
 develop their skills. These
students
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 provided the information and knowledge would have a strong
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 force for
national
Add an article
the national
show examples
 economy in order to invent
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new things
such
Linking Words
 as medicine for cancer,
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
 appliance for better daily life.
Secondly
Linking Words
, thanks to
Use synonyms
university
Add an article
the university
a university
show examples
 environment,
students
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 have the chance to meet
people
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 from many different cultures; after that, they could have
enhance
Change the verb form
enhanced
show examples
 their
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
.
As a result
Linking Words
, there is a cultural and commercial exchange which is
one
Use synonyms
 of the important elements in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economic development. In conclusion, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that higher
education
Use synonyms
 plays a vital role in
graduate’s
Correct article usage
a graduate’s
show examples
 career. In my point of view, I agree that
university
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
 not only support
graduates
Use synonyms
 to have a better job but
also
Linking Words
 promotes the development of community and society.
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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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