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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on your children. Do you agree or disagree?

#computer #effects #children
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The twenty-
first
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 century is considered an era of technological advancements.
Usage
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 of
computers
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, especially by
kids
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, for educational
purposes
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,purposes
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 has upsurged in the
last
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 decade.
However
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, it has been argued that excessive
usage
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 of
computers
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 may have a gloomy impact on the child. I completely concur with the fact, as,
such
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 technological devices might have detrimental impacts on
child's
Correct article usage
a child's
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 immature eyeballs as well as can lead to psychological imbalance.
Firstly
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, Constant staring at the
computer
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 screen might result in
the
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apply
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impaired vision. At
such
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 young age, the children have a steep growth physically, like in their height, muscles along with their eyes. Looking at
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computer
Correct article usage
a computer
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screen
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screens
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 continuously might lower the focal length of the eyes,
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moreover
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,moreover
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 the rays being emitted out from the
computer
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 screen have harmful effects on
the
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apply
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eye growth.
As a result
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, it's not uncommon to see teenagers wearing spectacles with high power.
Hence
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,
kids
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 are better to be kept away from the screens.
Furthermore
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, Online
computer
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 games can have
dangerous
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a dangerous
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 impact on
child's
Correct article usage
a child's
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 psychology. While it is, nowadays, a fashion to play collaborative online games with strangers, the
kids
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 are not properly prepared to handle the failures at
such
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 young age.
This
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 leading to, them feeling more depressed and underconfident and
thus
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 pushing them into
psycological
Correct your spelling
psychological
 trauma.
For instance
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, Recently,
kids
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 playing some online
game
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games
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 e.g. PUBG were found committing
suicides
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suicide
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, since, they were not able to handle failures.
This
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 is a serious issue which should be taken care of at
earliest
Correct article usage
the earliest
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. To recapitulate,
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Usage
Correct article usage
the Usage
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 of
computers
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 by
kids
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 at
young
Add an article
a young
show examples
 age has more downsides than
the
Correct article usage
apply
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upsides.
However
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, it's is undeniable that
such
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 devices play
crucial
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a crucial
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 role in
education
Replace the word
educational
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 purposes. So, the
usage
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 time of the
computers
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 curbed under parental supervision might be a good idea to utilize the technology in
more
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a more
show examples
 positive way.
Submitted by mmritesh1 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Screen time
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Physical inactivity
  • Cognitive development
  • Internet addiction
  • Cyberbullying
  • Inappropriate content
  • Digital literacy
  • Virtual learning environments
  • Parental controls
  • Moderation
  • Online safety
  • Tech-savvy
  • E-learning
  • Information technology
  • Eye strain
  • Social skills
  • Multitasking
  • Interactive education
  • Health repercussions
What to do next:
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