Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members how to be good members of society. Others, however believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is considered by some that it is the duty of
parents
to make their
children
perfect humans of a community,
while
there are others who believe have the responsibility to do
this
.
However
, I am of the opinion that both can play inevitable roles
to build
Change preposition
in building
show examples
up
children
as great human beings. On the one hand, many think
children
can get every life lesson from their family members, especially from elders. It is absolutely true that learning can start from the family and the socialization process
also
begins from a very early age or
inherited
Add a missing verb
is inherited
show examples
from elders.
Children
can learn social values, ethical knowledge, good behaviour and so on from their
parents
that are handy for their cognition. Family is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
first platform that provides basic and informal learning to
children
.
Besides
,
children
's mental health and behaviour depend on their
parents
' attitude.
Conversely
, educational institutions
such
as schools,
daycares
Correct word choice
and daycares
show examples
also
contribute to making
children
better human beings.
For instance
, after
admitting
Wrong verb form
being admitted
show examples
to the school, young minds get huge surroundings
such
as teachers, peers and so on. They can meet various people with different views and backgrounds
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
attempt to develop their socialization process from that stage itself. The rules and regulations in these institutions can make them more disciplined.
Moreover
, schools can teach students how to be good future leaders. Obeying pedagogues' instructions might
further
improve
the
Change the word
their
show examples
tolerance levels
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
can help them in their careers eventually.
To conclude
, it should be considered that people are in debt to their families and educational institutions because our attitudes, views, philosophy and ideologies are shaped
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
by them.
Therefore
, I believe despite people having different views on
this
topic, it is not only
parents
' responsibility but
also
schools are responsible
to make
Change preposition
for making
show examples
them ideal human beings.
Submitted by krv.vaibhav on

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task achievement
Make sure to address both views equally and provide a balanced argument.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Develop your conclusion further to summarize your main points.
coherence cohesion
Improve the transition between paragraphs for better coherence.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your lexical resource.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to sentence structures and grammar to enhance accuracy.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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