When asked to choose between a life without work and working most of the time, people would always choose not to work. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your opinion.

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Since time immemorial, it has been seen that
people
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must have to
work
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in order to survive in
this
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world, creating a negative attitude towards
jobs
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.
Consequently
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, there has been a growing body of opinion that if individuals were asked to select a
life
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between
Change preposition
apply
show examples
without doing any
jobs
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or doing
work
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for
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apply
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most of the time, they would certainly prefer not to
work
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. Being a rational mind,
however
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, I take issue with
this
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notion, for I am of the view that without working it is next to impossible to lead a
life
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on
this
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dog-eat-dog earth, and
life
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would be horribly monotonous. Among the ratiocination to buttress any stance, the one that deals with the significance of doing works as a way to pass
the
Correct article usage
apply
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life
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smoothly.
In other words
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, if a person does not do any tasks and chooses to relax all
time
Correct article usage
the time
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, he or she faces financial predicaments, causing many problems in
life
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.
Fon
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For
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instance, researchers the world over have found that 99% of
people
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can solve their personal setbacks only because they have a decent job and they have a significant amount of money to deal with issues. So as to survive in
this
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cutthroat world and earn money,
therefore
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, human beings would always choose to do
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
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. Another critical rationale in reference to why
people
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would not give preference to
lead
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leading
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a
life
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without having any
jobs
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is necessarily synonymous with not being interested in selecting a mundane
life
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. To be more precise, an individual would get into depression and anxiety provided that he or she had to
do
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apply
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sit idly at home.
For example
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, an empirical study conducted by Oxford University reveals that 85% of
people
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not having any tasks usually suffer from mental disorders even though they feel relaxed for
someday
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some time
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at the beginning.
Thus
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, with a view to leading an active and healthy
life
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, it is imperative to
work
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from the core of the heart. In conclusion, much as doing
work
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is laborious, without having any
jobs
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,
people
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have to face many problems.
Hence
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, every person eventually chooses to
work
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in order to lead an epicurean and healthy
life
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.
Submitted by shawlin90 on

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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but need to be more developed and clear. The logical structure of the essay is good, but there is room for improvement in the coherence and connection of ideas. Use more transitions to ensure smoother flow of thoughts. Ensure that all points directly relate to the prompt and provide specific examples to support your arguments.
task achievement
Your response to the prompt is complete and comprehensive, but some points need further development and clarity. Ensure that each paragraph directly contributes to the overall argument, and use specific examples to strengthen your position.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial stability
  • personal interests
  • social isolation
  • structured daily routine
  • sense of purpose
  • achievement
  • boredom
  • overworking
  • burnout
  • hobbies
  • family time
  • work pressures
  • stress
  • health issues
  • social interactions
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