Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

It is argued that
children
should be banned from using
cell
phones
during the
school
day while some people firmly believe that there should be no ban on the usage of a
cell
phone
in an educational institution. In the following paragraph, I will try to explain both
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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views.
Firstly
, a section of people
have
Change the verb form
has

The plural verb have does not appear to agree with the singular subject section. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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a
view point
Correct your spelling
viewpoint

The word view point seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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that
children
needs
Change the verb form
need

The singular verb needs does not appear to agree with the plural subject children. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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to be prohibited from using mobile
phones
in
school
premises as they feel that using
cell
phones
, under influence of
negative
Add an article
the negative

The noun phrase negative company seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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company, can be detrimental for their child's future.
Children
are more inclined towards eye-catching
application
Fix the agreement mistake
applications

It seems that application may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, and they lack awareness about cybercrimes and in
such
cases, they can become victims of cyberbullying and online fraud.
For example
, in the recent past, there are several instances where
children
have overspent money in lakhs in PUBG games to get access
of
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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more gadgets & a number of kids committed suicide instigated by the blue whale challenge.
Moreover
, if a student will be allowed to use
cell
Add an article
a cell
the cell

The noun phrase cell phone seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
phone
in class, he or she will not be able to properly concentrate on his studies and will refrain from extracurricular activities that take place in
school
which will adversely affect one's physical as well as mental health. Contrary to the above
Correct your spelling
viewpoint

The word view point seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

show examples
view point
Correct your spelling
viewpoint

The word view point seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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, some people believe that mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones

It seems that phone may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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should be allowed as it is easier to know about the whereabouts of
child
Add an article
the child
a child

The noun phrase child seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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, and they can reach him in case of emergency.
Further
, they contend that mobile
phone
helps in the study as there are numerous online platforms like Google, YouTube which helps the
children
to grasp more knowledge
in addition
to
school
studies. To conclude, in my opinion,
more
Correct article usage
a more

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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flexible approach should be adopted towards mobile
phones
. they can prove to be a boon for students if they are allowed to be used in
supervision
Add an article
the supervision

The noun phrase supervision seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of elders whereas the emphasis is required to be laid on the involvement of
children
in curriculum and physical activities as
school
is the foundation of one's life.
Submitted by hmann2396 on

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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