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Band 5

Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #children #phones #school
It is argued that
children
 should be banned from using
cell
phones
 during the
school
 day while some people firmly believe that there should be no ban on the usage of a
cell
phone
 in an educational institution. In the following paragraph, I will try to explain both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
views.
Firstly
, a section of people
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a
view point
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
show examples
 that
children
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
 to be prohibited from using mobile
phones
 in
school
 premises as they feel that using
cell
phones
, under influence of
negative
Add an article
the negative
show examples
 company, can be detrimental for their child's future.
Children
 are more inclined towards eye-catching
application
Fix the agreement mistake
applications
show examples
, and they lack awareness about cybercrimes and in
such
 cases, they can become victims of cyberbullying and online fraud.
For example
, in the recent past, there are several instances where
children
 have overspent money in lakhs in PUBG games to get access
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 more gadgets & a number of kids committed suicide instigated by the blue whale challenge.
Moreover
, if a student will be allowed to use
cell
Add an article
a cell
the cell
show examples
phone
 in class, he or she will not be able to properly concentrate on his studies and will refrain from extracurricular activities that take place in
school
 which will adversely affect one's physical as well as mental health. Contrary to the above
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
show examples
view point
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
show examples
, some people believe that mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 should be allowed as it is easier to know about the whereabouts of
child
Add an article
the child
a child
show examples
, and they can reach him in case of emergency.
Further
, they contend that mobile
phone
 helps in the study as there are numerous online platforms like Google, YouTube which helps the
children
 to grasp more knowledge
in addition
 to
school
 studies. To conclude, in my opinion,
more
Correct article usage
a more
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 flexible approach should be adopted towards mobile
phones
. they can prove to be a boon for students if they are allowed to be used in
supervision
Add an article
the supervision
show examples
 of elders whereas the emphasis is required to be laid on the involvement of
children
 in curriculum and physical activities as
school
 is the foundation of one's life.
Submitted by hmann2396 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Distraction
  • Cyberbullying
  • Concentration
  • Emergency communication
  • Digital literacy
  • Educational resources
  • Social development
  • Self-regulation
  • Enforcement
  • Socioeconomic status
  • Technology access
  • Learning apps
  • Screen time
  • Peer interaction
  • School policy
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