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Writing Samples
Band 8

The world today is a safer place than it was a hundred years ago, and governments should stop spending large amounts of money on their armed forces. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#world #place #years #governments #amounts #money #forces
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By surveying human history, it has obviously been observed that in the past, people and their governments suffered from a lot of difficult problems
such
 as pandemic diseases, expanded poverty and famine as well as a wide array of wars. But nowadays thanks to modernity, technology and awareness, these adverse aspects of human lives have considerably shrunk and rectified. From
this
 perspective, I would maintain that
although
 pay attention to safety issues in different countries should be considered, improving public health and expanding research fields by more investments from governments should not be underestimated.
First
 and foremost, there are numerous pieces of evidence that different countries have confronted with many safety problems.
In other words
, some ordeals: unavoidable economical competitions and differences among local people sometimes necessarily need to control by the governments. As a consequence of the existence of military forces might alleviate (alleviate)
such
 negative behaviours,
in particular
, in the
third
-world impoverished countries.
On the other hand
, by reserving a huge amount of resources which are annually spent in order to promote armed forces throughout the world, the public health issues as one of the most important matters facing humanity can significantly be upgraded and improved towards the ideal living situations for all people.
Furthermore
, undoubtedly the progress of technological instruments in various areas should not be negligible. It has meant that the more we can try to achieve a lot of positive consequences from
this
 area, the more we can benefit from striking outcomes. In conclusion, the pros of decreasing the armed forces throughout the world can strikingly eclipse the cons.
Submitted by maleki.ali94 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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