It is shown that many criminals have a low level of education. Some people argue that the best way to reduce crime is to educate criminals in prison to help them find jobs when they leave prison. Do you agree or disagree?

#criminals #level #education #people #crime #prison #jobs

Studies show that many offenders are not well-educated. For

this

reason, some

people

suggest the best way to lower

crime

is to give criminals the chance to receive enough

education

while in prison. I agree with

this

statement to some extent, but I would argue that

this

is the best way to reduce

crime

Add an article

the crime

show examples

rate

. On the one hand, it is hard for

people

who have not been educated well to get a decent job, let alone for those with criminal records. These

people

find it hard to make a living

Add the comma(s)

, therefore,

show examples

therefore

become an

Correct your spelling

unstable

show examples

instable

Correct your spelling

unstable

show examples

factor to the society.

Moreover

, with limited

education

people

might not realize that

such

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

are against the law.

For example

, underage youths perhaps do not know that shoplifting is considered

Change preposition

apply

show examples

an illegal

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

because they have not been told or learned so. It can

hence

be suggested that by providing proper

education

to these

people

crime

Correct article usage

the crime

show examples

rate

can be reduced.

On the other hand

, there are numerous lawbreakers who have obtained

good

Add an article

a good

show examples

education

. News of high-intelligence

crime

cases

are

Change the verb form

show examples

common these days.

People

Add the comma(s)

, therefore,

show examples

therefore

argue that low

education

background may have been affecting the rising

crime

rate

, yet it is definitely not the decisive element for there are various causes that may motivate a criminal act.

By comparison

, it would be more effective and efficient for governments and other related departments to strengthen supervision and apply

Remove the article

apply

show examples

more severe punishment on illegal activities. In conclusion, while I agree that governments should attach more attention to

education

in prison to offer help and prepare the culprits for the life after being released, we must not overestimate the effectiveness of

this

hence

other related measures should be taken in order to lower the

crime

rate

Submitted by 576579710 on Mon Jul 12 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

290 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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It is shown that many criminals have a low level of education. Some people argue that the best way to reduce crime is to educate criminals in prison to help them find jobs when they leave prison. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people say it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

The plans below show the site of an airport now and how it will look after redevelopment next year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The use of social media, e.g. Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact for many people in everyday life. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people from poor and rural backgrounds find it difficult to get a university education. Universities should make it easier for such groups to enrol. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that too much money has been spent looking after and repairing old buildings, so we should knock down old buildings and build modern ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?