It is shown that many criminals have a low level of education. Some people argue that the best way to reduce crime is to educate criminals in prison to help them find jobs when they leave prison. Do you agree or disagree?

Studies show that many offenders are not well-educated. For
this
reason, some
people
suggest the best way to lower
crime
is to give criminals the chance to receive enough
education
while in prison. I agree with
this
statement to some extent, but I would argue that
this
is the best way to reduce
crime
Add an article
the crime
show examples
rate
. On the one hand, it is hard for
people
who have not been educated well to get a decent job, let alone for those with criminal records. These
people
find it hard to make a living
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
show examples
therefore
become an
Correct your spelling
unstable
show examples
instable
Correct your spelling
unstable
show examples
factor to the society.
Moreover
, with limited
education
,
people
might not realize that
such
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
are against the law.
For example
, underage youths perhaps do not know that shoplifting is considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an illegal
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
because they have not been told or learned so. It can
hence
be suggested that by providing proper
education
to these
people
,
crime
Correct article usage
the crime
show examples
rate
can be reduced.
On the other hand
, there are numerous lawbreakers who have obtained
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
education
. News of high-intelligence
crime
cases
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
common these days.
People
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
show examples
therefore
argue that low
education
background may have been affecting the rising
crime
rate
, yet it is definitely not the decisive element for there are various causes that may motivate a criminal act.
By comparison
, it would be more effective and efficient for governments and other related departments to strengthen supervision and apply
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
more severe punishment on illegal activities. In conclusion, while I agree that governments should attach more attention to
education
in prison to offer help and prepare the culprits for the life after being released, we must not overestimate the effectiveness of
this
hence
other related measures should be taken in order to lower the
crime
rate
.
Submitted by 576579710 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: