Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

#people #children’s #leisure #activities #waste #time

As for today’s competitive and fast

world

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,world

show examples

I realised that everyone wants to be on the top.

Hence

for the new generation

that is

the same thing being taught by parents and

expect

Change the verb form

expects

show examples

an intelligent, smart and most versatile output from their

children

, but I do not agree

Change preposition

with

show examples

this

approach

instead

should allow leisure time for them to identify

own

Correct pronoun usage

their own

show examples

talent. I believe that

children

should get non-educational leisure activities for them to rejuvenate and allow them to develop their own perspective from everyday learning. It is important that

children

should be brought up with strong educational knowledge, but in order to thrive

this

information

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,information

show examples

they should be given enough time to experiment with their own understanding. There should be a holistic approach

for

Change preposition

show examples

child’s

Correct article usage

a child’s

show examples

wellbeing, extracurricular activities

Change the verb form

are

show examples

the best form for

child’s

Correct article usage

a child’s

show examples

growth in mental and physical areas.

For example

, it is proven that

Change preposition

apply

show examples

learning any musical instrument can increase the child’s brain strength as much as with mathematics I

also

believe that

children

should

also

be encouraged to have educational tours and adopt reading habits for them to develop

the

Correct article usage

show examples

curious mind. The reading habit will help them to unlock the new secrets of the world and lay the foundation of new ideas, but it should not be forceful as it can have

adverse

Add an article

an adverse

show examples

effect

Fix the agreement mistake

effects

show examples

Add an article

the child

a child

show examples

child

Fix the agreement mistake

children

show examples

. There are many studies proving that

children

feel extremely pressurised when they are overloaded with homework or studies and they fall into depression or develop anxiety, which results

into

Change preposition

show examples

discontinuing the studies. In conclusion, I do agree that there should be educational activities for

children

, but parents and school should give importance to

overall

Add an article

the overall

show examples

development as well. There should be

balanced

Add an article

a balanced

show examples

approach and most importantly an environment where

child

Add an article

the child

a child

show examples

feels happy.

Submitted by shital.sol05 on Mon Jul 12 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

293 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?

The world has many towns and cities constructed in previous centuries that were more suitable and livable for people in those time than they are now. What problems will this cause ? What can be done to solve these problems ?

Some people think that exercise is the key to health, while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

To learn effecrively, children need to eat a healthy meal at school. How true is this statement? Whose responsibility is it to provide food for school children?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problem are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or an negative development?