Childhood obesity is becoming a serious problem in many countries. Explain the main causes and effects of this problem, and suggest some possible solutions.

#childhood #obesity #countries #effects

It is the fact that, gaining

weight

kids

have

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

several reasons along with, it is the busting problem around the nations.

This

essay will explore some of the possible reasons which might have

Change the verb form

caused

show examples

cause

Correct your spelling

caused

show examples

this

situation and highlight a few drawbacks of obesity.

The childhood

Correct article usage

Childhood

show examples

obesity has several impacts too, the

first

and the for the most is having outside

food

especially deep-fried dishes becoming more popular all over the world because it is extremely delicious and yummy as well as

budget friendly

Add a hyphen

budget-friendly

show examples

In addition

, not only

kids

spend most of the time

Change preposition

apply

show examples

playing video games and avoiding outdoors

sports

but

also

, they get pocket money to spend which would cause

weight

gaining issues at

earlier

Add an article

an earlier

show examples

stage.

Furthermore

kids

love to having or exploring new

food

, new dishes

such

as chines, fast

food

burger

Fix the agreement mistake

burgers

show examples

, pizza you name it.

Hence

, it causes detrimental effects on health

such

as increasing

level

Fix the agreement mistake

levels

show examples

of sugar,

gain

Change the verb form

gains

show examples

excessive

Add an article

an excessive

show examples

amount

Fix the agreement mistake

amounts

show examples

weight

However

, to embark with the key reasons to support my ideology is that,

firstly

, avoid a sedentary lifestyle, step outside play some ground

sports

which is mainly important for

kids

Moreover

, parents must have

look

Add an article

a look

show examples

into it and force

Add an article

a child

the child

show examples

child

Fix the agreement mistake

children

show examples

to play apart from video games enrol them in some

sports

club where they able to exercise and indulge in

sports

Also

, parents must not provide pocket money or if it is really needed for travelling purpose

then

give them limited cash,

thus

they will not eat street

food

much. To conclude, considering above mentioned points it is evident that,

although

the

weight

gaining cause because of fast-

food

, along with sedentary life it has several ways to cope up

with

Correct pronoun usage

itwith

show examples

Submitted by ankitacommon on Mon Jul 12 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

280 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity?
The crime rate grows annually and that is a fact. It can be burglaries, robberies, mugging, et cetera. There are different causes of that and some ways to prevent the number of cases connected with a criminal activity.
6.5
band
Topic: Some people think that the spread of multinational companies and globalization produces positive outcomes for everyone. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?
Common people believe that expanding multinational companies and globalization will have a positive impact on everyone. I agree with this statement considering that multinational companies can be enriched in many aspects.
4
band
Some people think that it is a good idea to socialize with work colleagues during evenings and weekends. Other people think it is important to keep working life completely separate from social life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
The discussion of utilizing weekends and evening after office is surely one that begs the question of how it could yield an outcome. In my opinion, due to rising conflicting ideas in an office and competition, asserting that separating the office life with social will be the most apropos choice.
7.5
band
Advanced technology has brought many beneficial changes to the world. However, some old people today struggle with the use of technologies such as mobile phones and the Internet. How can the elderly benefit from using advanced technologies? How can the elderly be encouraged to use consumer electronics more often?
It is commonly believed that older generations today find difficulty using the advanced technology that is bringing beneficial changes to the world. This essay will discuss how modern technology can benefit old people and the measures taken to encourage them to consume more electronic devices.
5.5
band
You recently organized an all-day meeting for your company, which took place in a local hotel, in their feedback, participants at the meeting told that they liked the hotel, but they were unhappy about the food that was served for lunch. Write a letter to the manager of the hotel - say what the participants liked about the hotel - explain why they were unhappy about the food - suggest what the manager should do to improve the food in future
I am writing this letter to bring your attention to your hotel I am a senior project manager we held a conference at Holten Hotel last week on Monday.

Childhood obesity is becoming a serious problem in many countries. Explain the main causes and effects of this problem, and suggest some possible solutions.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity?

Topic: Some people think that the spread of multinational companies and globalization produces positive outcomes for everyone. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Some people think that it is a good idea to socialize with work colleagues during evenings and weekends. Other people think it is important to keep working life completely separate from social life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.