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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Childhood obesity is becoming a serious problem in many countries. Explain the main causes and effects of this problem, and suggest some possible solutions.

#childhood #obesity #countries #effects
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It is the fact that, gaining
weight
Use synonyms
 in
kids
Use synonyms
 have
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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several reasons along with, it is the busting problem around the nations.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explore some of the possible reasons which might have
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caused
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cause
Correct your spelling
caused
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this
Linking Words
 situation and highlight a few drawbacks of obesity.
The childhood
Correct article usage
Childhood
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 obesity has several impacts too, the
first
Linking Words
 and the for the most is having outside
food
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 especially deep-fried dishes becoming more popular all over the world because it is extremely delicious and yummy as well as
budget friendly
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budget-friendly
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.
In addition
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, not only
kids
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 spend most of the time
on
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apply
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playing video games and avoiding outdoors
sports
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 but
also
Linking Words
, they get pocket money to spend which would cause
weight
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 gaining issues at
earlier
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an earlier
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 stage.
Furthermore
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,
kids
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 love to having or exploring new
food
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, new dishes
such
Linking Words
 as chines, fast
food
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 like
burger
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burgers
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, pizza you name it.
Hence
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, it causes detrimental effects on health
such
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 as increasing
level
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levels
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 of sugar,
gain
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gains
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excessive
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an excessive
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amount
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amounts
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 of
weight
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.
However
Linking Words
, to embark with the key reasons to support my ideology is that,
firstly
Linking Words
, avoid a sedentary lifestyle, step outside play some ground
sports
Use synonyms
 which is mainly important for
kids
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, parents must have
look
Add an article
a look
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 into it and force
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a child
the child
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child
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children
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 to play apart from video games enrol them in some
sports
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 club where they able to exercise and indulge in
sports
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.
Also
Linking Words
, parents must not provide pocket money or if it is really needed for travelling purpose
then
Linking Words
 give them limited cash,
thus
Linking Words
 they will not eat street
food
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 much. To conclude, considering above mentioned points it is evident that,
although
Linking Words
 the
weight
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 gaining cause because of fast-
food
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, along with sedentary life it has several ways to cope up
with
Correct pronoun usage
itwith
show examples
.
Submitted by ankitacommon on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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