IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

When asked to choose between a life without work and working most of the time, people would always choose not to work. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your opinion

#life #work #time #people
A matter of considerable controversy at present is when asking
people
 to select between
work
-free
life
 or working
life
, the majority of individuals prefer not to
work
,
although
 having no
work
 in
life
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 several benefits but having a job is quite beneficial. On the one hand, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
 are in favour of
life
 without
work
, as since from their childhood they have
desire
Change the article
the desire
show examples
 to spend a
life
 with full of
relaxtation
Correct your spelling
relaxation
 because at that time their parents are there to help them.
Additionally
,
plethora
Add an article
a plethora
the plethora
show examples
 of works are
induldgeing
Correct your spelling
indulging
 in serious kind of hazards and every
work
 has their own pros and cons. In
this
 contemporary era, everyone
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 to
work
 to survive and basic needs
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can only be achieved when
people
work
.
For instance
, ample of individuals left their
work
 in pandemic to revive the government's rebate
such
 as
centrelink
Change the capitalization
Centrelink
show examples
 amount.
On the other hand
, finding
job
Add an article
a job
show examples
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
present
Correct article usage
the present
show examples
 era is not
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 easy task for everyone. There are
bunch
Add an article
a bunch
show examples
 of degree holders
are
Correct pronoun usage
who are
show examples
 looking for
work
 after their studies to achieve their goals
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
life
. So, having
a
Remove the article
work
a job
show examples
work
 is far more beneficial rather than jobless.
However
, to meet with expensive or to create a balance of
life
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 income is most from any source. Apart from the basic needs to enjoy the luxury
life
 or to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 ambitions of heart,
human
Add an article
a human
the human
show examples
 being needs money.
For instance
, a recent survey done by Queensland university that approximately eighty
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 population of the nation are struggling to beat their e everyday expense. To conclude, as
vast
Add an article
a vast
show examples
 proportion of
people
 are in favour of
work
Add a hyphen
work-life
show examples
life
, whereas, having
work
 has tremendous advantages.
Submitted by avtarsekhon88 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: