IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

A family has a great influence on children’s development, but the influence outside the home plays a bigger part in children’s life. To what extent to you agree or disagree?

#influence #children’s #development #home #part #life
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Children in
this
Linking Words
 world learn things not only from their
families
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 from the outside environment.
Consequently
Linking Words
, there has been a growing body of opinion that much as
families
Use synonyms
 play a vital role in kids’ development, the influence of external factors is the most prominent. Being a rational mind,
however
Linking Words
, I take issue with
this
Linking Words
 notion, for I am of the view that a
child
Use synonyms
 learns the basic norms and rules from
families
Use synonyms
 and he or she spends most of the time with parents. Among the ratiocination to buttress my stance, the one that deals with the significance of
families
Use synonyms
 as a primary institution for imparting values to infants.
In other words
Linking Words
, a
child
Use synonyms
 learns what he or she sees in the family and implies those same things in his or her personal
life
Use synonyms
. To cite an example, an empirical study conducted by Oxford University reveals that 99% of adolescents’ temperament, behaviour and values completely match their parents’ characteristics.
Therefore
Linking Words
, a family has the biggest impact on children’s development. Another critical rationale in reference to why a family has a decisive role in developing toddlers’ disposition is necessarily synonymous with spending maximum time with parents. To be more precise, from an early stage to young
life
Use synonyms
, parents and other family members try to spend quality time with their children in order to teach different things about
life
Use synonyms
. As a consequence, it would
next
Linking Words
 to impossible for a
child
Use synonyms
 to learn about practical
life
Use synonyms
 provided that his or her family does not give guidance properly. To exemplify, researchers around the world find that only because of parents’ instructions and supports, a
child
Use synonyms
 learns to deal with outsiders. In conclusion, even though every
child
Use synonyms
 has to mingle with outsiders, their impacts on the
child
Use synonyms
’s development are not significant because
families
Use synonyms
 start to instil values from the beginning by spending quality moments with their children.
Submitted by shawlin90 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • nurturing environment
  • emotional and psychological development
  • foundational stone
  • external influences
  • diverse perspectives
  • digital media
  • peer pressure
  • social circles
  • intellectual development
  • structured knowledge
  • critical thinking skills
  • cultural and societal norms
What to do next:
Look at other essays: