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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many people feel that most of the urgent problems can only be solved by international cooperation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #cooperation
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It is irrefutable that these days every country is facing a lot of political, economic and technical issues. Some people believe that these obstacles can only be solved with international intervention
while
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 others do not. I partially agree with the above statement.
To begin
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 with, major problems found in most nations are poverty, unemployment, peace, unethical political systems and challenges with advanced technology. Poverty and unemployment are interrelated but these can be solved with the implementation of proper policies by the concerned authorities.
For instance
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, the government can provide financial help to educational institutes
to begin
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 professional courses with affordable fees so that everyone can get the opportunity to learn and have the required qualifications for the job market.
consequently
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, people will start to earn which leads to reduce the poor population.
Moreover
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, there are certain issues that can be resolved by collaborating with overseas nations.
For instance
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, universal peace can only be possible if all the countries do the same amount of effort to diminish any kind of differences to make
this
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 earth worth living.
Furthermore
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, every country is trying to achieve the highest level of technical advancement which in turn becomes a hazard for human beings.
For example
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, nowadays every country has their own nuclear weapons which can destroy the world in a minute.
This
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 kind of unavoidable problem can only be solved if the countries work together. From the above discussion, It can be concluded that the unity of nations is one of the most important problems that can be solved by good international relations.
However
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, other problems like poverty, unemployment and poor political concerns can be handled by the lawmakers of the respective countries.
Submitted by kkaur9391 on

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Task Achievement
While your essay presents a clear position throughout, it could benefit from a more nuanced exploration of the topic. Consider examining both sides of the argument in more depth to enrich your analysis.
Coherence & Cohesion
Incorporate a wider variety of linking phrases to enhance the flow between your ideas. This will make your argumentation more dynamic and easier to follow.
Task Achievement
To bolster your argument, include more specific examples and data. This adds credibility to your points and makes them more persuasive.
Coherence & Cohesion
Pay attention to your essay structure. Ensure that there is a clear introduction, body paragraphs with distinct main ideas, and a conclusion that reflects on the overall argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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