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Writing Samples
Band 6

The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The graph depicts data
of
Change preposition
on
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 admissions of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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international and native scholars of Australia in
Australian
Use synonyms
universities
Use synonyms
 over a decade
that is
Linking Words
 from 2001 to 2010.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it can be seen that in 2001 local
pupils
Use synonyms
 who commenced their studies in
Australian
Use synonyms
universities
Use synonyms
 were almost ten times the overseas
pupils
Use synonyms
 that are to say 20, 000 overseas and 2, 00, 000
undergraduate
Fix the agreement mistake
undergraduates
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 from Australia. But in ten years the interest in international graduates to study abroad increased and the count of overseas
pupils
Use synonyms
 reached 80000 with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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steady growth with every passing year.
While
Linking Words
 no
such
Linking Words
 change has been noticed in terms of the local scholars as even after ten years, candidates who initiated studies in local
universities
Use synonyms
 are almost the same as in 2001.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in relation to the total
number
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 in
Australian
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universities
Use synonyms
, the data shown is somewhat distinct as in these a drastic change happened regarding both kinds of
students
Use synonyms
. The
number
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 of total foreign
students
Use synonyms
 hiked 4 times in 2010(80, 000) as compared to 2001 (20, 000).
Similarly
Linking Words
, if we talk about local
students
Use synonyms
 the trend shows a gradual increase in the total
number
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 of
pupils
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 from 2001 to 2006 but after 2006 there is no increase in the
number
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 of native
students
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.
To conclude
Linking Words
, it is observed that the figure of local
students
Use synonyms
 is much more than overseas
students
Use synonyms
 and over the decade no change has been seen in
this
Linking Words
 trend
on the contrary
Linking Words
 with the passage of time interest in international
students
Use synonyms
 is inclining toward
Australian
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universities
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.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words australian, universities, pupils, number, students with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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