Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Other, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measure are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In today's modern world,
health
is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
major issue in day to
daylife
Correct your spelling
day life
show examples
. People are getting worried
for
Change preposition
about
show examples
their fitness . Few individuals have believed
taht
Correct your spelling
that
health
can be improved
bybadding
Correct your spelling
by adding
sports
facilities as a part of our daily routines,while
oyhers
Correct your spelling
others
opposes
Change the verb form
oppose
show examples
this
due to its effects.
This
essay will argue what should hu,
ans
Correct your spelling
and
adopt for their
bette
Correct your spelling
better
well being. Advocates of introducing
sports
have stated that
however
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society has been dealing with
hazardeous
Correct your spelling
hazardous
health
issies
Correct your spelling
issues
.
Moreover
, due to the advancement of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
electronics
gadgets
Add a comma
,gadgets
show examples
humans life becomes easy that needs no physical movement.
As a
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
their physical
activities
had been
dimimnishing
Correct your spelling
diminishing
.
For instance
, the individual works in a company, his job is to sit on a chair all long day,
this
reults
Correct your spelling
results
in less physical
movementand
Correct your spelling
movement and
movement
this
will lead to many
health
issues like obesity, gastrointestinal problems etc.
Furthermore
,
sedentary
Add an article
a sedentary
show examples
lifestyle is
also
a
Change the article
the
show examples
main reason for
health
issues. In regards to
this
Add a comma
,this
show examples
the government should impose
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high penalties on
high fat
Add a hyphen
high-fat
show examples
foods. The exercise
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
should be installed on public
parls
Correct your spelling
parks
parcels
by the council authorities.
Public
Correct article usage
The public
show examples
also
indulge themselves in any
sports
activities
of their interest like swimming .
Additionally
, few
belived
Correct your spelling
believed
believe
that, by introducing the fitness machines or
sports
activities
, it could
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
on
indivdual
Correct your spelling
individual
health
. because some humans
doesn't
Change the verb form
don't
show examples
know how to select the
activities
according to their
health
otherwise
it would be
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
adversely. To conclude that ,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
strongly admit that, the individual should actively participate in any
health
fitness programme but under some special guidance or by keeping in mind their
health
problems. Along with all these
diet
Change the determiner
diets
show examples
also
plays
important
Add an article
an important
show examples
role .So, along with any physical
activities
,
balanced
Add an article
a balanced
show examples
diet
also
be
Change the verb form
is
show examples
added.
Submitted by bhajan.verma on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!