IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many jobs that used to be done by humans are now being done by machines. Does this development bring more advantages or disadvantages?

#jobs #humans #machines #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the modern ,world the technology has grown rapidly and
machines
Use synonyms
 are taken over the many
jobs
Use synonyms
 which were early done by humans
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 if you ask me it is beneficial for various works and added advantage for the human to develop advanced technology.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
Machines
Use synonyms
 are everywhere in
this
Linking Words
 world starting from the smallest mixer in the house to large manufacture robots it has always made human life easier. Technology now has created many
jobs
Use synonyms
 rather than taken away.
for example
Linking Words
, the early days to build a car took weeks
however
Linking Words
, with the help of robots now we are able to manufacture 10 cars in a day to handle the robots we need skilled
people
Use synonyms
. With the current demand to match ,
then
Linking Words
 we need the help of
machines
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the machine is defined as a mechanism to function automatically, it has helped humans in various ways for decades without it we would not develop civilization.
In particular
Linking Words
 to the
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
jobs
Use synonyms
 many manufacture company’s created tons of opportunity for skilled
people
Use synonyms
, for ,example a carpenter who can manufacture one or two furniture in a week now with the help of latest
machines
Use synonyms
 he can create a more and he would need
people
Use synonyms
 to handle them there opportunity for
jobs
Use synonyms
 In conclusion,
machines
Use synonyms
 are made
people
Use synonyms
 make life easier to finish work and create
jobs
Use synonyms
 for many as tradition the meth about
machines
Use synonyms
 are taken
jobs
Use synonyms
 from humans which is not a real case in the real world. It has made life simple and helps to achieve many goals.
Submitted by thamil.selvan05 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: