It is sometimes thought that people who travel outside of their own country are more tolerant and understanding of others. To what extent do you agree?

These days, more and more
people
prefer to go abroad for various reasons like vacation, study, job,etc. It is often thought that
such
people
are more patient
while
dealing with
others
. In my opinion, visiting a foreign country does make
people
more tolerant,
however
, it is not the only reason for
this
.I will discuss my viewpoints in the following paragraphs and justify my opinion.
People
often
travel
to foreign nations because of their work or studies and sometimes in order to have a long vacation. There they need to interact with local
people
who have different perspectives on various things and a completely different
mindset
. In order to ensure that their
travel
is enjoyable and peaceful, tourists must adapt to the local customs and beliefs.
This
instills
Change the spelling
instils
show examples
an attitude of tolerance and makes
people
accept
other's
Fix the agreement mistake
others'
show examples
opinions and thoughts even if they differ from their own.
In addition
to
this
, it
also
develops an open
mindset
towards a lot of things.
For instance
, I had a friend who used to despise gay
people
and their right to live a good life.
However
, after visiting the
U.S
Correct your spelling
U.S.
, her
mindset
changed and she accepted that they are an important part of our society.
On the other hand
, it is not true that only those
people
who
travel
to a country outside of their own are understanding and accepting of
others
. These qualities can be imbibed in
people
from a very
age
Correct word choice
young age
show examples
by a variety of methods
such
as by encouraging them to read stories that teach good moral values.
Also
,
people
who live in a city with many nationalities residing there, are automatically exposed to
people
with different cultures,
mindset
Fix the agreement mistake
mindsets
show examples
, rituals and ethnicities. As they interact with
such
people
on a daily basis, qualities like tolerance and acceptance get instilled in them over a period of time.
To conclude
, it is a wrong conception that those who
travel
to a new country are better at empathizing with
others
than those who don't.
This
a quality which can be acquired if good values are taught to children at a young age . Citizens residing in cities with multi-cultural residents are
also
accepting and understanding of
others
.
Submitted by yashashrikolalle on

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task response
The essay adequately addresses the given topic but could be strengthened with clearer examples and deeper analysis.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the link between ideas within paragraphs could be improved for better coherence.

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