IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The best way to protect the environment is to use local resource, such as food or building materials rather than transporting resources from other places. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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A matter of considerable controversy at present is the issue of protection of the environment through
the
Correct article usage
apply
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home
resources
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of importing from various foreign nations. To some
extent
Add a comma
extent,
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 I am after
with
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apply
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the given notion and
this
Linking Words
 essay will discuss
Linking Words
further
Correct pronoun usage
it further
show examples
 with logical explanations. On the one hand, there are
plethora
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a plethora
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 of
products
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 and
equipments
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equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
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 that require huge investments to produce or create on
local
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a local
the local
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 level. There are many
countries
Use synonyms
those
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 have their unique natural
resources
Use synonyms
 and to utilise these materials
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
import
Use synonyms
 is the only option left for the other
countries
Use synonyms
 which are unable to produce these
products
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, Arab
countries
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 have their own unique natural product
such
Linking Words
 as oil and
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
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 of the
countries
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 can only take
the
Correct article usage
apply
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advantage of particular things as
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
import
Fix the agreement mistake
imports
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
import
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 and export are the primary methods to build strong connections among
countries
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
protection
Correct article usage
the protection
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 of the environment requires ample
of
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apply
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preventions
Fix the agreement mistake
prevention
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, one of them is
use
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the use
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 of local
resources
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 and
products
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there are enormous
of
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apply
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merits of
home grown
Correct your spelling
homegrown
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products
Use synonyms
 and
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
, the most preponderant one is that it will create employment opportunities and will encourage
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
local companies and factories to produce the essential
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
 and materials for the local community.
For example
Linking Words
, Aasam is famous for tea production in India and by the use of these natural
Use synonyms
products
Add a comma
products,
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 the economy must grow in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of local production.
Hence
Linking Words
, there are several other
products
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
 goods that can be used to enhance the local markets.
To conclude
Linking Words
, Environmental protection depends on various factors that
needs
Change the verb form
need
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 to be addressed including the use of local
resources
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,
whereas
Linking Words
, there should be
decline
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a decline
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 in the
import
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 of unnecessary goods from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other
countries
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your view on the topic, but it could be more explicit in outlining the main points you will discuss in your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea that is fully developed. Some points feel under-explained or could use more examples for support.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use a wider range of vocabulary and varied sentence structures. This makes your writing more engaging and can improve your score.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion on the topic and effectively express it in the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay structure is logical and allows the reader to follow your thoughts easily, with a reasonable introduction and conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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