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Band 6

Some people think that the best way to improve road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving a car or motorbike. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #road #safety #age #car #motorbike
It is advisable that government should
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
show examples
 the minimum legal age for
drivers
 in order to ensure
road
safety
. From my perspective, while
this
 law may provide several benefits, I would argue that having numerous other effective methods can be taken to enhance
road
safety
. Admittedly, there are some compelling reasons as to why the minimum age for getting a driving license can result in a slow
of
Correct your spelling
or
show examples
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
 outcome.
To begin
 with, older
drivers
 are mature enough to deal with accidents on the
road
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their own. To be more explicit, they have the capacity of handling dangerous situations like slippery rounds and other human
drivers
.
Moreover
, they are equipped with
necessary
Correct article usage
the necessary
show examples
 skills and knowledge about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
street information for a long time.
This
 is extremely useful for them to not cause harm to other people.
On the other hand
, I am of the opinion that there are excellent ways that are available for the authority to protect
road
safety
.
First
 and foremost, the government can launch heavy fines for
drivers
 with violations.
As a result
, they would keep themselves awake and is more responsible when using vehicles in order not to waste their huge amount of money.
Last
 but not least, the authority could encourage citizens in using public transports and
therefore
 fewer people using personal vehicles.
This
 leads to
minimize
Change the verb form
minimizing
show examples
 the risks that they may face when driving their own transports
such
 as speeding or falling asleep at the wheel. To sum up, albeit I concede that
rising
Correct your spelling
raising
show examples
 the minimum age for getting a driving license will bring many merits, I believe that there are feasible measures that should be taken into
consider
Replace the word
consideration
show examples
 to improve
road
safety
.
Submitted by Hoài Nhi on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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