It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science subjects. What are the causes? What are the effects on society?

Based on the observations in many countries, only a
little
Correct word choice
small
show examples
number of
students
are attracted to
science
subjects. The reason behind
this
issue is the unattractive opportunity for
science
areas
in
job
markets. Nation authorities and related organizations need to encourage
students
to choose
science
areas
of knowledge. The main reason why
science
subjects are less preferable by
students
in many countries is
due to
limited demands and
opportunities
in
job
markets for
science
.
Not to mention
, scientific study is hard and requires top-notch brain intelligence.
Although
science
acts as a baseline for every technological development, there are not many
job
opportunities
related to
science
subjects, compared to the number of
students
that studied it. To illustrate, there may be a hundred quantum physics graduates annually all over the world, but there are only less than ten
job
openings available for them.
This
issue impacts society as there is a technology innovation bottleneck
due to
lots of idle and unproductive scientists. Encouragement from the government and related institutions plays a very important role in order to solve
this
problem.
For instance
, the national authority and related organizations can support the
students
who want to pursue their career in
science
with a scholarship
as well as
provide them with high-end facilities. These endorsements will make
students
more interested in exploring
science
areas
and becoming scientists in the future. In conclusion, many
students
are not excited to learn
science
due to
a lack of
opportunities
in the
job
market. Related institutions need to encourage
students
to explore more
science
by creating exciting
opportunities
for
science
areas
in the future.
Submitted by rizkyy.utama22 on

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task achievement
While the essay addresses the topic and provides some reasons and effects, it would benefit from a deeper exploration and more detailed examples. Consider adding more specific statistics or case studies to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The connection between the paragraphs could be smoother. Try using clear transition words or phrases to guide the reader through the essay. This will improve the coherence and cohesion of your writing.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are a bit awkward or unclear. Make sure to proofread your essay and consider rephrasing for clarity and conciseness.
introduction
The introduction clearly outlines the issue and the proposed solutions, which is a strong start.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of the essay and reiterates the importance of addressing the issue, which provides a sense of closure.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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