IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Using a computer everyday can have more negative than positive effects on your children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#computer #effects #children
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The development of technology devices
such
 as
computers
 lead to an increase in the number of juveniles makes use of it.
Although
 there is an argument that spending most of the time on
computers
 can pose a detrimental impact on adolescents, I strongly believe that it is beneficial and no harmful to teenagers. I will thoroughly present my view in the following part.
First
 of all, it is undeniable that the merits of
computer
 provide for a youngster are really enormous. As a high-tech tool,
computers
 can bring an ideal education atmosphere for children.
For example
,they easily do some research about some particular things which are still mysterious
Moreover
, children can find more intriguing videos on youtube or any kind of entertainment website which help them expand their own knowledge horizon in
this
 little world.
In addition
, the variety of sources on the internet is
also
 a useful weapon for them especially for those who are eager to explore the unknown on
this
 planet. It is widely proved and accepted by both parents and teachers
On the other hand
, the negative effect of
computers
 is something unavoidable. Most children spend their time playing
computer
 games or watching movies on the internet which lead to some bad consequences
such
 as lose interest in the study and they can easily get disease-related optical problems.
Furthermore
, they can
also
 lose their interaction and connection with their family members, friends and some other close-knit relationships. Using a
computer
 for many hours can
also
 affect both physical and mental issues which cause some negative repercussions in a long run. In conclusion, there are always both sides to every problem in
this
 world and using a
computer
 is not an unacceptance.
However
, from my view, I always believe that the merits of a
computer
 outweigh its demerits.
Submitted by hieudang.jeff2108 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Screen time
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Physical inactivity
  • Cognitive development
  • Internet addiction
  • Cyberbullying
  • Inappropriate content
  • Digital literacy
  • Virtual learning environments
  • Parental controls
  • Moderation
  • Online safety
  • Tech-savvy
  • E-learning
  • Information technology
  • Eye strain
  • Social skills
  • Multitasking
  • Interactive education
  • Health repercussions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: