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Band 3

These days, mobile phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#phones #internet #people
With the
technology
Replace the word
technological
show examples
 development that the advent of handset and
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 brings innumerable benefits to human,But everything has two sides The
internet
 broaden
people
’s horizon which
people
 can search
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 effectively and
also
appeared
Verb problem
provides
show examples
 more opportunities for business We can
receiving up to date
Replace the word
receive up-to-date
show examples
 global news on public programs immediately.
By contrast
.
people
 limited recognize about the world before the
internet
 advent Those clients who live remote countries can book products through
internet
 which boost countries exporting trade There’s other merit of using
internet
 is that many applications which full filled with high functional features released (showed up).
such
 as payment.listening book.networking
in particular
 With those benefits
people
 accustomed using
internet
 and can’t live without it Some
people
 would argue that there are some negative effects by using
internet
 Some
people
 reckon that the
internet
 as drugs in ancient time which
people
 in addiction binge Watching useless videos
instead
 of attend activities Even though that your companions who just seating with you face to face ,most
people
 watch their phones replace communication The
internet
 gradually building databases advancement which can capture consumer’s pinpoint habit on online shopping that attract them overconsumption
Overall
,the benefits of using
internet
 is self-evident which we can’t deny the merits is higher status than unmerited in hierarchy
Submitted by Welkin on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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