With an increasing number of people eating fast food , which if eating fast food too regularly can cause health issues, some people that the only solution is to ban it completely .

In the modern era, the invention and popularity of

fast

Correct article usage

the fast

show examples

food

Use synonyms

industry have brought both pros and cons to human society. Consuming

this

Linking Words

type of product regularly can bring many drawbacks especially on health and some people believe that it should be removed permanently. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I am going to examine

this

Linking Words

question from both points of view and

then

Linking Words

exaplain

Correct your spelling

explain

explains

why I believe that

fast

Add a hyphen

fast-food

show examples

food

Use synonyms

consumption should be reduced

instead

Linking Words

of being banned completely. Some people believe that the benefits of detering the

expand

Replace the word

expansion

show examples

of global firms

such

Linking Words

as McDonald or Burger King outweigh their disadvantages.

Firstly

Linking Words

, the restriction of consuming junk

food

Use synonyms

can associate with the decline of non-communicable diseases

such

Linking Words

as obesity, high blood pressure or cardiovascular diseases in the community. In fact, the majority of dishes in these convenient restaurants are fried meals

which

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

contain numerous unhealthy ingredients. Many studies have shown that there is a strong collaboration between frequent consumption of fried dishes and

high

Correct article usage

a high

show examples

risk of having obesity among children.

Additionally

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

the average price of fast

food

Use synonyms

is considered

Change preposition

apply

show examples

cheaper than regular meals in other restaurants, it is still more expensive than shopping and cooking at home.

Therefore

Linking Words

, closing those stores can help youngsters save more money.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, shutting down the entire

fast

Add a hyphen

fast-food

show examples

food

Use synonyms

sector may lead to many

economically

Change the adverb

economical

show examples

losses. It can not be deniable that global

fast

Add a hyphen

fast-food

show examples

food

Use synonyms

enterprises have contributed to enormous economical development from their taxes and employment opportunities for many people around the world.

As a result

Linking Words

goverments

Correct your spelling

governments

government

may have to deal with the increasing unemployment rate if these firms are banned permanently. An alternative solution is that local authorities should deter the expansion of these companies by

limitting

Correct your spelling

limiting

the number of restaurants

can

Correct pronoun usage

that can

show examples

be established in one city.

Moreover

Linking Words

, advertisings related to these products need to be removed from

internet

Correct article usage

the internet

show examples

or TV programs to make

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

become less available.

In addition

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, educational campaigns to raise the awareness of the usage of junk

food

Use synonyms

need to be more available at schools and

local

Add an article

the local

show examples

community. In conclusion, I believe that both arguments have their own merit. While I agree that these convenient fried dishes can bring various deleterious effects on health and they should be strictly controlled by the administrations.

However

Linking Words

, shutting down the entire profitable

businesses

Fix the agreement mistake

business

show examples

should be considered.

npanhtuan09Fri Jul 16 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

389 words

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With an increasing number of people eating fast food , which if eating fast food too regularly can cause health issues, some people that the only solution is to ban it completely .

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In recent years, there has been a rise in the use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports. What are the consequences of doping for athletes? What measures should be taken to combat this issue?

More and more parents are deciding to educate their children at home rather than sending them to school. What are the causes of this phenomenon? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that the experiences children have before they go to school will have the greatest effect on their future lives. Others argue that experiences gained when they are teenagers have a bigger influence. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.