IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

With the improvements in today’s health care ,society has to care for more and more elderly people.Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people and how can it be managed?

In today's world, there are more and more elderly
people
Use synonyms
 and it is argued that society has to care for them.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss whether it is possible to cope with the increased
number
Use synonyms
 of old citizens and how it can be managed.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,it can be clearly observed that there are a
lot
Use synonyms
 of resources and developments to treat diseases so that humanity is able to cope with a
lot
Use synonyms
 of elderly
people
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is because of fact that there are a
lot
Use synonyms
 of new technologies and inventions in the sphere of medicine.
Therefore
Linking Words
,professional treatment and affordability will allow responding to a large
number
Use synonyms
 of enquiries in hospitals.
For example
Linking Words
,in Ukraine,a new drug was created that helped to cure a
lot
Use synonyms
 of elderly
people
Use synonyms
 and strengthen their immune systems.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the capacity of medicine and health care can be increased by actions that will encourage teenagers to apply to these degrees and by encouraging inventions and development in
this
Linking Words
 sphere.
This
Linking Words
 is due to the fact that the government is able to subsidise the learning for students and invest in new technologies.
Hence
Linking Words
,healthcare will be improved and all
people
Use synonyms
 who need a cure will be able to
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
 it.
For instance
Linking Words
,when the Ukrainian state introduced subsidies to medicine postgraduates the
number
Use synonyms
 of students has increased by 20%. Eventually,to conclude,in my opinion,society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly
people
Use synonyms
 since there are a
lot
Use synonyms
 of modern advancements in
this
Linking Words
 sphere.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,the government can subsidise education and inventions so that there will be even more opportunities and possibilities to respond to the increased
number
Use synonyms
 of old parents.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Aging population
  • strain
  • healthcare systems
  • pensions
  • social services
  • technological advancements
  • telemedicine
  • health-monitoring devices
  • community-based support
  • government policies
  • proactive measures
  • retirement age
  • pension reform
  • intergenerational cooperation
  • mental and emotional well-being
What to do next:
Look at other essays: