IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages
Music
 has a great history all over the world. Section of society thinks that
music
 has the capability to bring the
people
 together in order to enjoy the
music
. I agree with the above notion and in
this
 ,
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
essay I will discuss the reasons and importance of
music
 in human life.
Firstly
 It is always considered that
music
 plays a vital role in each and every human life, irrespective of their age and culture.
Music
 has no language and restrictions. With good style and sense,
music
 can attract almost anyone towards them. From the research of several scientific universities, data collected from
this
 study appears to support the assumption that
music
 attracts
people
 in a good way to send messages in society. But of ,course there is an opinion ,
on the contrary
, there is some evidence which indicates that, because of some nasty
music
, the feelings of most of the religious
people
 get hurts and because of which it causes serious damage to the society. The gap in the
music
 era sometimes creates a problem in different generations.
Although
 there will undoubtedly be some negative consequences to
music
, several related problems can be anticipated. Still, in my ,opinion
such
 demerits cannot outweigh the benefits of
music
 in social life and bringing
people
 together.
Submitted by niranjanchakankar88 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
What to do next:
Look at other essays: