Some people believe that time spent on television and computer games can be valuable for children. Others believe this has negative effects on a child. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

A highly controversial issue today relates to children being too much
time
on tv and video
games
is good for them or
this
implies on not good influence for them . In
this
essay, I am going to examine
this
question and explain why I believe the argument of their negative effect on them is stronger. There are people who argue that spending
time
on electronics like computer
games
considerably outweighs its disadvantages. The main reason for believing
this
is that the television stimulates their imagination and creativity solving computer
games
. It is
also
possible to say that these little daily challenges improve their intelligence as they progress inside the game. One good example here is the increasing
difficult
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difficulty
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in each phase of the Super Mario game.
On the other hand
, others believe that TV and computer activities are passive actions for children. People often have
this
opinion because
Add the comma(s)
,since
show examples
since
Change preposition
from
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the
first
months of life up to 10 years old, the children
does
Change the verb form
do
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need to practice physical activities like run, walk, touch new objects. A
second
point is that their development depends on direct interactions with people and other infants. Their interactions of touching, tasting, smelling, hearing, visioning will have a significant impact on their development while screens will mainly interact with visioning. A particularly good example here is when is compared a child who frequents kindergarten versus a child who does not. The
first
one usually has more abilities as they interact with others at school. In conclusion, both arguments have their merits. On balance,
however
, I feel that spent
time
on screens like TV and video
games
is not
a
Correct article usage
apply
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valuable
time
.
This
is because the interactions with other human beings have more impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
their early development.
Submitted by lltiago on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

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Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

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  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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