IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or storage of money others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.discuss both view and give your opinion

#people #situation #job #storage #money #situations
In
this
fast paced
Add a hyphen
fast-paced
show examples
Correct your spelling
world
show examples
Add a comma
,word
show examples
word
Correct your spelling
world
show examples
 every individual meets inevitable situations. Some argued that better to adapt
unfavourable
Change preposition
to unfavourable
show examples
 conditions whereas others think to
work
 hard to overcome
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 for
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 life.
This
 essay will discuss both arguments and put forward my opinion Nowadays,many
people
 are facing unemployment so ,
people
 are forced to continue on the same job even if they are unsatisfied. Even though there is long working hours and workload,
people
 will not resign because of the difficulties to find another.
Moreover
 ,everyone should take care of themselves and their family .
Thus
,the
people
 are compelled to be in the same position.
For instance
,Chinnu,my childhood friend, working as an assistant with less
paid
Replace the word
pay
show examples
,as she is the only earning member in the home.In
such
conditions
Add a comma
,conditions
show examples
 it is good to follow the same employer
On the other hand
, mental satisfaction is essential to
work
 properly. A mentally fulfilled person can be more productive than other employees.
Although
,
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
healthy competition among the staffs
increase
Change the verb form
increases
show examples
 the total turnover of the company.
Furthermore
, hard
work
improve
Change the verb form
improves
show examples
 the economical status of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals. The person who worked hard to achieve their dream can definitely peruse it.
As a result
, they become
ecomically
Correct your spelling
economically
 stable and get
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 lifestyle. To illustrate,Joy,the chairman of
mattathil
Correct article usage
the mattathil
show examples
 steel industry, achieved the position through struggles ,as he was not satisfied as an office accountant.So,in my opinion
Add a comma
,
show examples
it is better to
work
 hard to improve our circumstances. In conclusion, finding a job is important for
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
show examples
, but mental satisfaction is more than anything. So it is essential to try to overcome the problem than relying on it
Submitted by bestymaria on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: