Some people think that the best way to reduce the time spent in travelling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city center with apartment buildings for commuters, but others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #time #work #parks #gardens #city #center #apartment #buildings #commuters

Travelling to

work

is what

people

do on a daily basis. Some individuals believe that residential

areas

should be built in the city centre to replace green

areas

However

although

this

replacement can reduce the commute

time

, I would argue that it is not beneficial to commuters as those green

areas

are good places for workers to relax. On one hand,

people

support replace parks and gardens with apartment buildings in the city centre because it can help

people

cut down the

time

for travelling to

work

. A number of

people

are suffering from long-distance commutes every day. They have to get up early to catch a train or a bus.

As a result

, they may feel exhausted when they get to

work

after a long-

time

travelling.

Therefore

, if the apartment building is close to their workplace, they will not need to get up early and have more

time

to make themselves ready for

work

On the other hand

, I would argue

this

replacement is not beneficial to workers because there will be no places for them to relax if parks and gardens are replaced.

For example

, individuals who are stressed would like to go for a walk and get some fresh air during lunch break. They may not be able to find a good place to go since there is no parks or gardens nearby. If they are not able to relax during lunch break, they are likely to have no energy for the afternoon and their productivity will be low. In

this

case, their

work

performances can be affected. In conclusion,

although

concentrating

residential

Change preposition

on residential

show examples

areas

in the city centre can help reduce commute

time

, I would argue that

this

action is not beneficial to workers because they would not be able to find a good place to relax during break

time

Submitted by lucky19961104 on Sun Jul 18 2021

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

303 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

commuters
urban areas
housing availability
alleviating housing crises
public transport
traffic congestion
environmental health
biodiversity
recreational
mental health benefits
urban heat islands
green lungs
community interaction
cohesion
innovative urban planning
multi-use buildings

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Some people think that the best way to reduce the time spent in travelling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city center with apartment buildings for commuters, but others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

With the increasing demand for energy sources of oil and gas, people should look for sources of oil and gas in remote and untouched natural places. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages of damaging such areas?

The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In many professional sports, there is an increase in the number of athletes using banned substances. What are the causes of this phonomenon and what are the some of possible solution

More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem?