Some people believe that time spent on television and computer games can be valuable for children. Others believe this has negative effects on a child. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
A highly controversial issue today relates to children being too much
time
on television and video games
is good for them or this
implies on not good influence for them . In this
essay, I am going to examine this
question and explain why I believe the argument of their negative effect on them is stronger.
There are people who argue that spending time
on electronics like computer games
considerably outweighs its disadvantages. The main reason for believing this
is that the television stimulates their imagination and creativity solving computer games
. It is also
possible to say that these little daily challenges improve their intelligence as they progress inside the game. One good example here is the increasing difficult
in each phase of the Super Mario game.
Replace the word
difficulty
On the other hand
, others believe that television and computer activities are passive actions for children. People often have this
opinion because Add the comma(s)
,since
since
the Change preposition
from
first
months of life up to 10 years old, the children does
need to practice physical activities like run, walk, touch new objects. A Change the verb form
do
second
point is that their development depends on direct interactions with people and other infants. Their interactions of touching, tasting, smelling, hearing, visioning will have a significant impact on their development while screens will mainly interact with visioning. A particularly good example here is when is compared a child who frequents kindergarten versus a child who does not. The first
one usually has more abilities as they interact with others at school.
In conclusion, both arguments have their merits. On balance, however
, I feel that spent time
on screens like TV and video games
is not a
valuable Correct article usage
apply
time
. This
is because the interactions with other human beings have more impact to
their early development.Change preposition
on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite