The increase in People’s life expectancy means that they have to work older to pay for their retirement. One alternative is that people start to work at a young age. Is this alternative a positive or a negative development?

Nowadays,
life
Add an article
the life

The noun phrase life expectancy seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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expectancy of humans is increased and
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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older people
work
more than
expectancy
Correct article usage
the expectancy

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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age
Change preposition
of age

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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.
However
, there are other
alternative
Change the wording
alternatives

The adjective other appears to be modifying the singular noun alternative. Consider making a change.

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is that youngsters should start
work
at a young
age
. In my opinion, it is a positive approach to
work
at an early
age
.
This
essay will discuss in the forthcoming paragraphs.
To begin
with, there are lots of issues of doing
work
at older.
Firstly
, people do not fit for some
organization
Fix the agreement mistake
organizations

It seems that organization may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. They cannot lift heavy objects and they mostly face some diseases at
this
age
.
Secondly
, some
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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