Multicultural societies, in which there is a mixture of different ethnic peoples, bring more benefits than drawbacks to a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

#societies #mixture #peoples #country

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It is an irrefutable fact that in

contemporary

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the contemporary

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day and age, societies are becoming more diverse thanks to

open

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the open

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policies of governments. Multicultural

society

Use synonyms

has its own drawbacks as well as benefits to government and people if it is well managed. The following paragraphs will analyze the pros of a multiethnic

society

Use synonyms

and provide relevant examples. To commence with the benefits of a culturally diverse

society

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first

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and foremost all ethnic groups share their valuable knowledge and experience.

Hence

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the

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apply

show examples

society

Use synonyms

becomes unique and interesting.

For example

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, cities like Ottawa or New York are melting pots of various cultures, nations, traditions, and food.

This

Linking Words

phenomenon attracts

Correct article usage

an uncalculable

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uncalculable

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incalculable

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amount of tourists.

Consequently

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, the boost in

tourism

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the tourism

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sector may help to develop the economy of the country.

Additionally

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, people learn how to be tolerant towards each other and become more integrated. Children grow in an environment where different people and

believes

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beliefs

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are equal and become

become

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apply

show examples

open minded

Add a hyphen

open-minded

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individuals.

Nevertheless

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, sometimes refugees and immigrants become

Add an article

a burden

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burden

Fix the agreement mistake

burdens

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the

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apply

show examples

society

Use synonyms

Therefore

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, the government should properly manage the integration of immigrants and refugees into

the

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apply

show examples

society

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. For

intsance

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instance

, implement free language courses or develop well-thought-out employment programs.

As a result

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of these implementations, newcomers will not have language

bariers

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barriers

and will be able to communicate their needs, avoid misunderstandings. To put

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it in

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a nutshell, I pen down and say that multinational societies are beneficial on many levels.

However

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, the government should put its best foot forward in order to nurture social harmony.

Submitted by shoira.shakirovna on Mon Jul 19 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

249 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

multiculturalism
cultural diversity
economic prosperity
social cohesion
integration
cultural assimilation
ethnic diversity
cultural exchange
global influence
inclusive governance

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Multicultural societies, in which there is a mixture of different ethnic peoples, bring more benefits than drawbacks to a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many poducts that we buy are made in other countries. Do the advantages of this outweight the disadvantages?

Computers and AI technology are increasingly being used for online education Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience ? Is this a positive or negative development ?

The world has many towns and cities constructed in previous centuries that were more suitable and livable for people in those times than they are now. What problems will this cause? What can be done to solve these problems

In certain nations, parents have high academic expectations for their children, resulting in limited leisure time. What could be the potential benefits and drawbacks of this for the children and the society they are part of?

Some people say that schools should spend more money on computers, others say that more money should be spent on teachers' wages. Discuss both views and state your opinion.