IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Many people say that the life of people who live in the large cities is not comfortable. What are the reasons behind this? What could be the solution?

#people #life #cities
In
this
 modern
time
, few
people
 believe that
life
 in the cities is not comfortable. but they face many troubles staying there. There are many causes of staying in urban places.
However
, it can be resolved by taking necessary actions. There are various reasons which make
people
’s
life
 unbearable while staying in the cities.
Firstly
, it has hectic traffic. As the population increases in urban places, it creates a lot of development but at the same
time
, during office hours, It takes long hours to stay away from home which includes
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
time
 and office
time
 and it wastes unnecessary
time
 for the
people
.
Also
, city
life
 has more opportunities in many fields and entertainment like late
night
Correct your spelling
nightlife
show examples
life
, weekend parties, and so on. But, it destroys the peace
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their
life
 and disturbs their routine. It can impact their career, education, and work. It has made
people
life
 miserable and create trouble in their health especially anxiety, depression
Correct pronoun usage
which are
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 major mental health issues. so, these are the severe problems which make
people
 unhappy. Certain actions can be taken to tackle the above issues. In the
first
 place, the government should provide more frequency of public transport in peak hours. It will reduce commuting in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
private vehicles. They should provide more facilities during
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
such
 as reading books, soft music.
This
 can help
people
 to relax after tiresome work and utilize the
time
 during
travelling
Add an article
the travelling
show examples
time
.
Secondly
, the city government officials should strictly publish night guidelines for parties,
functiotions
Correct your spelling
functions
 and any other programs.
This
 will help
people
 to avoid unnecessary outside travelling and it will improve the habit of sleeping early which reduces stress, and unnecessary chaos. In conclusion, urban places make
life
 noisy and unhealthy. It can cause stress and impact
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
daily routine.
An
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Individual can make a choice according to their priority by taking part in various activities. They can socialise, make new groups which can support them anytime. Government can be more open with individual ideas which can be helpful to society.
Submitted by rishu1210 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: