IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking time for education and constantly feeling under pressure. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

#students #work #results #time #education #pressure
It is not rare
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when some students try to balance their job and studies, which might lead to stress and anxiety. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 some consequences of the trend will be considered and followed by possible solutions.
To begin
 with, being a student often means a beginning of an independent
life
 without
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
financial support made by parents, which
necessitizes
Correct your spelling
necessitates
necessities
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
applying for a part-time job in order to meet basic requirements. Freshman year students find it especially challenging if they haven’t experienced living away from home before.
Moreover
, the academic period in every individual’s
life
 is already
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
immense stress in terms of examination sessions, various projects and a myriad of tests.
Besides
, the level of stress might be enhanced by making a living. All these factors have a negative impact on student’s academic performance and health. I can give an example from my own experience
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when I was a student back
then
. My former
Correct your spelling
groupmate
show examples
group mate
Correct your spelling
groupmate
show examples
 had to work to be able to pay for her rent, not to mention other outcomes are needed to be covered. So, she ended up playing truant because of being sleep-deprived and exhausted. Despite all these causes, there
a
Add a missing verb
is a
show examples
possible way to address the issue or at least curb
the
Change the word
its
show examples
 impact
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
The time
Correct article usage
Time
show examples
 management could be a relatively effective solution. A student
life
meant
Add a missing verb
is meant
show examples
 to be overloaded with a tight schedule and lots of activities. So, I suppose that a proper day plan will facilitate students’
life
 and prioritize do’s in the list including rest time. To sum up, the academic period combined with a job might be a reason for mental and physical issues, which can be worsened by a poor academic result as a consequence.
Nevertheless
, it is still a solvable problem if a person puts enough effort by using their valuable time rationally.
Submitted by ms.roksss on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial necessity
  • Tuition
  • Living costs
  • Employability
  • Work experience
  • Under pressure
  • Mismanagement
  • Time-management
  • Academic pursuits
  • Flexible part-time study
  • Financial aid
  • Scholarships
  • Bursaries
  • Collaboration
  • Integrated programs
  • Education
  • Work-life balance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: