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Band 6

People are consuming more and more sugar-based drinks. Why? What can be done to reduce sugary drink consumption?

#people #drinks #drink #consumption
Nowadays the consumption of
sugar
-based drinks has been increasingly popular among
the
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apply
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people of all ages. Due to
a
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the
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 huge variety of drinks available in many different places, people consume them
in
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on
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large
Correct article usage
a large
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 scale which
have
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has
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became
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become
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a
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apply
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damage
for
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to
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 people`s health.
This
 essay will discuss why people are consuming more and more
sugar
-based beverages and what could be done to reduce the consumption.
Firstly
,
sugar
 drinks are present
in
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apply
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everywhere, because of
this
 the access to them is even easier and frequently. The reasons for
this
 current issue could be explained not only for the low prices but
also
 for the celebrity endorsement.
Although
 health organizations try to keep the population loop with negative sides of
sugar
 overdose, social media and large companies make the opposite,
in other words
, they promote the
consume
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consumption
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 with a low price and misleading
information
 about the product. For
examples
Fix the agreement mistake
example
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, at
supermarket
Correct article usage
a supermarket
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, place where the price is written in big and catching letters, but the
information
 with calories, fat,
sugar
 and so forth is reduced in minimum letters to
be overlook
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be overlooked
show examples
 by the consumers. In sum, the use of
sugar
 in huge quantity in some beverages has been present among in the individuals which result in an uncontrolled overdose. The more
the
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apply
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social media endorses the use
it
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apply
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, the more society believe that it is ordinary and healthy.
Secondly
, the government should create laws more severe about
the
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apply
show examples
uncontrolled use so that companies must be punished for unrespect them. These laws should be about the misleading
information
 given by companies and perhaps about the prices.
In other words
, society should be informed about the real effects of
sugar
 in their body before they have access
the
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to the
show examples
 product full of unreal and unhealthy
information
.
For instance
, an aware person about
cons
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the cons
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 of
sugar
,
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apply
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 certainly would be a person more prepared to make good choices about
the
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apply
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sodas and foods, which
resulting
Change the form of the verb
results
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 in a society more healthy. In short, if there were laws more rigid about
disadvantages
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the disadvantages
show examples
 of
sugar
,
population
Add an article
the population
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 should not consume
sugar
 sodas
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
large
Correct article usage
a large
show examples
 scale. In conclusion,
there
Replace the word
their
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many
Add a missing verb
are many
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 sodas at
Add an article
the supermarket
a supermarket
show examples
supermarket
Fix the agreement mistake
supermarkets
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 with an excessive quantity of
sugar
, which leads to soaring of high consumption by
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
.
This
 essay argued why individuals are consuming
this
 kind of liquid with more frequency and what could be done to stop the overdose.
Submitted by larissafelipin on

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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