Many people are afraid to leave their home because of crime. Some believe that more actions should be taken to prevent crime. While others feel that little action can be done to stop crime. What is your opinion?

#people #home #crime #believe #actions #action

In today's world, it is believed by some part of the population that some more

actiond

Correct your spelling

actions

action

should be taken to prevent

crime

while others claim that these measures are not able to cope with these issues.

First

of all,

to begin

with, the main reason why it is important to intervene is that the

governemnt

Correct your spelling

government

can improve the quality of work of

police

Add an article

the police

show examples

This

becasue

Correct your spelling

because

of the fact that not only can the authorities increase the budget being spent on police stations but

also

it is able to develop

educational

Add an article

an educational

show examples

system in

this

sphere.

Therefore

, if policemen will perform better there is

liekly

Correct your spelling

likely

unlikely

to be fewer criminals on the streets.

For example

, in Ukraine, after the introduction of

such

policy

Add a comma

,policy

show examples

the level of

crime

has fallen by 10%.

Moreover

, another cause why actions should be taken to prevent

crime

is because by organising appropriate work with

Add an article

a psychologist

the psychologist

show examples

psychologist

Fix the agreement mistake

psychologists

show examples

at schools the country may prevent violent actions.

This

is due to the

fct

Correct your spelling

fact

that not only may children and teenagers have the opportunity to tell

ablot

Correct your spelling

about

what worries them but

also

they will receive a psychological

assistence

Correct your spelling

assistance

timely.

Hence

this

approach is likely to be able to stop violent thoughts and decrease the number of crimes.

For instance

, scientists claim that when humans are able to discuss their problems with a psychologist they are less likely to commit a

crime

. Eventually, to conclude, in my

opinion

Add the comma(s)

,opinion

show examples

more actions should be taken to prevent

crime

because,

firstly

ythe

Correct your spelling

the

government may invest more

intop

Correct your spelling

into

in top

the improvements in the sphere of police and,

secondly

, there may be a development in the work with psychologists.

Submitted by veronika-glinka on Tue Jul 20 2021

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Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

271 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people are afraid to leave their home because of crime. Some believe that more actions should be taken to prevent crime. While others feel that little action can be done to stop crime. What is your opinion?

Your opinion

In some countries, owning a home is more important rather than renting one. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

in today's world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages ?

Fewer and fewer people want to become teachers especially in secondary schools. Why this happening and what can be done to tackle this problem?

More and more plastic waste has polluted cities, the countryside and oceans. What problem does it cause and what measures can be taken?

Some people view conflict between teenagers and parents as a necessary part of growing up, while others view it as something negative which should be avoided. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.