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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that children should learn to design and make things in school. Others believe that there are better things to learn. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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A number of individuals believe scholars should learn design and make
things
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 at
education
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educational
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 institutions,
on the contrary
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, some other pupils think there are more crucial
things
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 to study. In my opinion, the course syllabus should cover designing and modelling as part of the
course work
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coursework
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. In society, people do various jobs to meet their daily living expenses. It is considered by many that, if students receive an opportunity to learn design and create samples at
school
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,
then
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 many of them can master their talents and utilize those skills
as
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in
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 jobs or businesses for their future,
depends
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depending
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 on their interests.
Additionally
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, scholars get an opportunity to learn the criticality of all these jobs and how these integrate into each society, so
when
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that when
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 they grow up they will respect and treat everyone equally.
For instance
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, many famous car designers acquired these basic abilities during their primary
school
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 days. Based on the facts highlighted above it is considered to include extra-curricular activities as part of the academic curriculum.
On the other hand
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, it is argued by many that, children must concentrate on vital
things
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 like academic study or research
instead
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 of spending their treasured time in sample designing and modelling items. In their point of view, other subjects can learn after completion of higher secondary or graduation. The advantage of
this
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 approach is that kids gain a considerable amount of time to complete their academic subjects with high merits,
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then
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and then
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 later they can enrol in other courses based on their
interest
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interests
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.
For example
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, a plethora of graduates
does
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do
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 information technology courses like CCNA or CCNP after graduation.
To conclude
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, there are numerous benefits for both
the
Correct article usage
apply
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approach and it is extremely difficult to summarize which approach has an upper edge.
However
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,
as
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apply
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per my perception, coaching design and making
things
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 in
school
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 have a wide range of vital values for children's future. Based on
this
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 argument, I encourage every
school
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 must teach
designing
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design
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 and modelling as part of the academic curriculum.

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task response
Ensure that each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the prompt and avoid running off topic.
coherence and cohesion
Include stronger topic sentences to clearly introduce the main points in each paragraph. Use transition words to improve coherence and link ideas more effectively.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and varied language to express ideas. Avoid repetition of words and phrases.
grammatical range
Focus on sentence structure and use a wider variety of complex structures. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and use punctuation effectively.
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