The best way to protect the environment is to use local resource, such as food or building materials rather than transporting resources from other places. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is no doubt that the safest means to keep the
environment
safe is by using commodities produced
within
Change preposition
apply
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instead
of transporting
goods
and services from one
place
to the other. In
this
essay
will
Verb problem
apply
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I fully agree with
this
measure. The consumption of locally produced
goods
has many advantages and is stressless compared with transporting resources from
place
to
place
.
Also
, consuming locally produced
goods
and services helps in recycling
wastes
Fix the agreement mistake
waste
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in the community. A hygienic
environment
is very suitable for inhabitation.
This
is because the inhabitants will ensure that their surroundings are deprived of hazardous materials.
For
instance
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instance,
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consumption of local produce
go
Correct subject-verb agreement
goes
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a long way in ensuring that nations
the
Add a missing verb
are the
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best and
utilizes
Correct subject-verb agreement
utilize
show examples
everything around them. In the ancient days when transportation was poor, the public was only able to consume what they produced.
This
was either because of the distance or language barriers. With current trading and
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
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, some countries dump
goods
they no longer need.
Whereas
the nations who need them do not see
this
as hazardous until a much later time when there is an outbreak of disease.
Therefore
consuming local
goods
will prevent the dumping of unwanted
goods
in the community where a safe
environment
would have been suitable for the people in the locality. Another reason in support of the use of locally produced commodities is that some of these are very rich and the quest for money will make local producers sell the best and depend on the
not so good
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not-so-good
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ones.
For example
, fishermen do not feed on the best catches. They will rather dwell on those which are not okay for the market to make money. No wonder why children of fishermen look malnourished compared to children of non-fishermen. Where there is no transportation from
place
to
place
, those in the locality will enjoy the items manufactured within. Libya once practised it. They extract their crude oil, refine it and use it. Yet they rank among one of the richest countries in Africa. Where locals depend on what they
produced
Wrong verb form
produce
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, they thrive well in them and their originality cannot be compared with another.
This
is very rampant in communist countries like North Korea, Russia and China.
Therefore
, to be a wealthy person, one must depend on materials sourced from around the
environment
. conclusively, utilizing local resources is helpful in not only providing a safe
environment
but
also
in providing healthy foods to the people
as well as
improve
Wrong verb form
improving
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selfsustainence
Correct your spelling
self-sustainence
. I truly agree with
this
.
Submitted by ndukacn on

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Task Response
Task Response: The essay does not fully address the extent of the writer's agreement with the prompt. It should be clearly stated in the introduction whether the writer agrees, disagrees, or partly agrees with the statement. The body paragraphs should fully support the stated position with relevant arguments and examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay lacks a clear and consistent logical structure. The ideas are presented in a haphazard manner, making it difficult for the reader to follow the writer's line of thought. The introduction and conclusion are present but need to be more explicit and reflective of the main points discussed in the body paragraphs. The main points are not consistently supported with relevant examples and arguments, leading to a lack of coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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