most important factor for the business is higher money

Money
is a basic need for survival. It is often argued that
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction that. Consider removing the comma.

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The
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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higher wages are
the
Correct article usage
a

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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crucial part of any employment. I agree with the notion and
i
Change the capitalization
I

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

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will discuss the details in
this
essay.
To begin
with,
money
plays an important role in
job
satisfaction because if employees get a good salary package
then
they have
a good life standards
Correct the article-noun agreement
a good life standard
good life standards

The indefinite article a may not be required with the plural noun standards in this sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular.

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. To explain it, Everyone in
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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society wants respect and
good
Correct article usage
a good

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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lifestyle and they work hard for these things.
Therefore
, People always looks for the
job
which
earn
Change the verb form
earns

The plural verb earn does not appear to agree with the singular subject the job. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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them more
money
. More
money
in the
job
keep the staff satisfied and become dependable in that
particluar
Correct your spelling
particular

The word particluar is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

job
.
For example
, In New Zealand, Employers offering good pay rates to attract more employees after the border closure due to coronavirus.
Secondly
,
The
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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good pay keeps the workers motivated.
In other words
, if the jobs increase the wages of the worker it makes the worker motivate all the
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time

It seems that times may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. By
this
, Any individual can keep working in the same place and remain satisfied
everytime
Replace the word
every time

Everytime is not a word. Replace this with the two separate words — every time.

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.
For Instance
, The organisation Macdonald's takes
survey
Add an article
a survey

The noun phrase survey seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of their employees after every six months and give them
payraise
Correct article usage
a payraise

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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according to their performance.
Thus
, More
money
affect
Change the verb form
affects

The plural verb affect does not appear to agree with the singular subject More money. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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businesses very enormously. To conclude, higher packages are vital for the everyone because it gives a good
life
Replace the word
living

The word life doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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standards and
motivate
Change the verb form
motivates

It appears that the subject pronoun it and the verb motivate are not in agreement. Consider changing the verb.

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the workers at the workplace.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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