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Band 3.5

most important factor for the business is higher money

#factor #business #money
Money
 is a basic need for survival. It is often argued that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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The
Correct article usage
apply
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higher wages are
the
Correct article usage
a
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 crucial part of any employment. I agree with the notion and
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 will discuss the details in
this
 essay.
To begin
 with,
money
 plays an important role in
job
 satisfaction because if employees get a good salary package
then
 they have
a good life standards
Correct the article-noun agreement
a good life standard
good life standards
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. To explain it, Everyone in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society wants respect and
good
Correct article usage
a good
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 lifestyle and they work hard for these things.
Therefore
, People always looks for the
job
 which
earn
Change the verb form
earns
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 them more
money
. More
money
 in the
job
 keep the staff satisfied and become dependable in that
particluar
Correct your spelling
particular
job
.
For example
, In New Zealand, Employers offering good pay rates to attract more employees after the border closure due to coronavirus.
Secondly
,
The
Correct article usage
apply
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good pay keeps the workers motivated.
In other words
, if the jobs increase the wages of the worker it makes the worker motivate all the
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
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. By
this
, Any individual can keep working in the same place and remain satisfied
everytime
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every time
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.
For Instance
, The organisation Macdonald's takes
survey
Add an article
a survey
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 of their employees after every six months and give them
payraise
Correct article usage
a payraise
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 according to their performance.
Thus
, More
money
affect
Change the verb form
affects
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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businesses very enormously. To conclude, higher packages are vital for the everyone because it gives a good
life
Replace the word
living
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 standards and
motivate
Change the verb form
motivates
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 the workers at the workplace.
Submitted by ramneekvirdi44 on

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Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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