Nowadays people normally stretch their working hours and get stressed than before. What are the reasons for this? What employers can do to make people's life easier?

In recent years,
due to
long working hours, the public suffers from a wide range of problems,
such
as mental diseases and limited time to spend with their families. I believe
this
phenomenon results from technological development, globalisation and encouraging
organisation'
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organisation's
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atmosphere. Employers can tackle
this
issue by encouraging senior members to go home earlier.
As the
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The
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first reason for
this
trend, employees are required to manage a considerable amount of tasks owing to the progress in technology. With the prevalence of technology, labourers have been able to carry out their
job
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jobs
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anytime, anywhere as long as they have mobile phones.
Consequently
, the amount of work has increased as they can communicate with their partners regardless of time and place.
Secondly
, globalisation extended working hours. In spite of the increasing potential of business opportunities, the citizens are required to catch up with time differences. Staff members have to either wake up early or stay up until midnight when they have meetings with overseas corporations.
Finally
, workplaces' meritocratic atmosphere to encourage employees to work harder is responsible for
this
tendency. The method of evaluation for promotion has changed. Lately, managers tend to prioritise workers'
ability
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abilities
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than
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over
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personality or royalty for their companies.
As a result
,
for pursuing
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to pursue
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better performance, employees are likely to stay in the building, aiming at honing their skills and showing off their passion. To deal with
this
problem, I argue that firms should motivate senior members to go home. Since senior employers are not working and other workers are not able to report or consult
to
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with
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them, the young generation has to stop their
job
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jobs
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. In conclusion, by
the
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apply
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virtue of
advance
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advances
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of
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in
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technology, internationalisation and
workplaces'
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workplaces
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atmosphere, people come to work for long hours.
Submitted by yukappy.961106 on

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coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but could be further developed to provide a stronger framework for the essay. Ensure that each paragraph is clearly linked to the main topic and thesis statement to improve coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Clear explanation of the reasons why people work long hours due to technology, globalisation, and workplace atmosphere. Strong examples provided for each reason.

Fully explain your ideas

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • stretching working hours
  • increased competition
  • economic pressures
  • job insecurity
  • flexible working hours
  • work-life balance
  • mental health support
  • stress management workshops
  • telecommuting
  • blurred boundaries
  • globalized world
  • advent of mobile devices
  • daily stress of commuting
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