Many developing countries are currently expanding their tourist industries. Why is this the case? Is it a positive development?

#countries #tourist #industries #case #development

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A significant number of developing

countries

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are currently expanding their

tourist

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industries

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because

this

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is an industry which brings a mass financial benefit to a nation. It is both negative and positive

development

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that I shall explain in more detail in

this

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essay.

To begin

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it is clear that

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developing

countries

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have lots of mysterious things in their cultures and landscapes, which have not been explored much before.

Additionally

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tourist

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industries

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are becoming a global trend. It will bring a huge benefit economy of all

countries

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if they exploit well

this

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field. These favourable conditions have encouraged developing

countries

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to expand their

tourist

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industries

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On the other hand

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, we can see that

this

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development

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is not only positive but

also

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negative. It helps to increase jobs for local people

as well as

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travel markets for businesses and introduce the culture of these nations to the world;

However

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, it

also

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contributes to the polluted environment. To illustrate, my country

also

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is currently developing our

tourist

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industries

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This

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has helped students to find part-time jobs in coffee shops or restaurants more easily. Companies active in the air transportation field, F&B, and accommodation have grown strongly. Thanks to

this

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more and more many people from different

countries

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know Vietnamese culture. Opposite, a vast number of visitors is leading to the growth of transportation and trash that causes a negative effect on the environment

such

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as air and noise pollution. In conclusion, several developing nations are currently growing their travelled

industries

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because they provide new fertile markets in the

tourist

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field,

moreover

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tourist

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industries

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are high-profit ones.

This

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is both a positive

development

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for the economy and a negative

development

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for the environment.

Submitted by writingeilts on Sun Aug 11 2024

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coherence cohesion

While the introduction and conclusion are clearly present, the essay can benefit from a clearer structure with more definitive paragraphs for each key point. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.

task achievement

To strengthen your task response, try to incorporate more specific details and statistics (if possible) to support your statements about financial benefits and environmental impact. Adding such examples can make your argument more compelling.

coherence

Some of your sentences are quite lengthy and could be broken down or restructured for greater clarity. Shorter sentences are easier to understand and reduce the risk of grammatical errors.

task achievement

Make sure to relate each example directly back to the question. For instance, when talking about job opportunities for students, explicitly link it to how this contributes positively to the development of the tourist industry.

structure

Your essay has a clear introduction that sets the stage for your discussion and a conclusion that summarizes your main points well.

comprehensive view

You present a balanced view by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of expanding tourist industries in developing countries.

explanation

The examples given, like those about job opportunities for students and the growth of companies in the F&B and accommodation sectors, effectively illustrate your points, even though they could be more detailed.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

279 words

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Many developing countries are currently expanding their tourist industries. Why is this the case? Is it a positive development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that developed countries have a higher responsibility to combat climate change than developing countries. Others believe that all countries should have the same responsibilities towards protecting the environment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Prevention is better than, cure reaserching and treating desease is too costly so it would be better to invest in prevention measures. To what extent do you agree?