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Band 5

The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world schools should cut art and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on useful subject such as information technology

#role #education #children #world #schools #art #music #curriculum #focus #information #technology
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The rationale of schooling is to develop
children
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 for modern global schools should prioritize useful
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
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such
Linking Words
 as
information
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technology
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 and do away with art and
music
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.I agree that
information
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technology
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 is very crucial
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in the current century,as it is going to be a major requirement in any job opportunity.
Firstly
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,
children
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 who got the opportunity to study
information
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technology
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 from early stages in school will be proficient in
this
Linking Words
 skill as it is part of everyday life.
Technology
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 is a powerful tool to teach
children
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 as with
fast changing
Add a hyphen
fast-changing
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 world ,
thus
Linking Words
 the skill will be very useful for their future jobs.
For example
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 ,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
 research done by the Kenyatta university
information
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technology
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 department shows that 60% of jobs advertisement require
information
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technology
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 experience.
Therefore
Linking Words
,with
information
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technology
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 as
priority
Correct article usage
a priority
show examples
 subject in school, will be an added advantage to
children
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. For
this
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 reason,
technology
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 is a powerful tool
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 should be a priority in modern global school
Secondly
Linking Words
,
children
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 should be engaged in all subjects because they have different
interest
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interests
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 since some can perform
excellent
Change the adjective
excellently
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 in art and
music
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 that
information
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technology
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.
Additionally
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,
information
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technology
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 can
also
Linking Words
 be a requirement in
music
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 and art as it is touching every aspect of daily activities.
For
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example
Add a comma
,example
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 most entertainment joints are employing
information
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technologist
Fix the agreement mistake
technologists
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 to facilitate
music
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 to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 large audience.For
this
Linking Words
 reason,there should be no distinction on which subject is preferred than the other. In conclusion,despite
information
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 technologist trending,our current education system should not
complicated
Add a missing verb
be complicated
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 for not teaching some subjects in
argument
Add an article
the argument
an argument
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 that some are more beneficial
Correct your spelling
than
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that
Correct your spelling
than
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 the
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
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 as every child has
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
 interest.Let the
children
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 hit the book
all
Change preposition
on all
show examples
 required subjects.
Submitted by Sabina Hamisi on

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